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jomor999
1 month ago
Straight Male, 64
0 km · Dublin
Forum
Sexlightened
Do people under 40 swing? OMG, what has happened to the world.
Come on younger guys and girls, you gotta let the middle-aged have something unique for ourselves other than saying 'life begins at 40' and a bus-pass. :) Youngsters will want an old-folks bus-pass next if they think there is fun to be had.
OK. Choice is one of the greatest things that we have in the free world have, different people have different preferences and that is that.
Unfortunately, and as opposed to preferences for the likes of size etc, judging by a persons 'age cut-off' is a bit prejudicial as not all over 40s are codgers just like not all 25 year olds are young and vivacious (25 going on 60)
jo
Come on younger guys and girls, you gotta let the middle-aged have something unique for ourselves other than saying 'life begins at 40' and a bus-pass. :) Youngsters will want an old-folks bus-pass next if they think there is fun to be had.
OK. Choice is one of the greatest things that we have in the free world have, different people have different preferences and that is that.
Unfortunately, and as opposed to preferences for the likes of size etc, judging by a persons 'age cut-off' is a bit prejudicial as not all over 40s are codgers just like not all 25 year olds are young and vivacious (25 going on 60)
jo
Sexlightened
Quote by user=t-bags
well i didn't get any of my tattoos for anyone elses benefit, they were (and are) for me...i couldn't give a toss if other folk like them or not.....but a well done tattoo is like a permanent work of art...you should feel priviledged to have it on your body, and priviledged of someone chooses to reveal theirs to you.
Well said.....if you do something for the right reason (such as 'because I like it') then it will most likely be right.
Getting a tat for other peoples benefit or to impress others then it could lead to years of regret.
As an observer of tats (ie not having any myself), some look great other don't. So a hot tat is a hot tat, an not-hot tat is maybe a not-hot tat. But it is not my opinion that counts.
I have very few piercings, ditto my opinions on tats. But, there is a slight difference:
you can easily remove a badly thought piercing; and sometimes a piercing may give someone else an added bit of pleasure or maybe even physical discomfort.
If asked which is hotter, piercings or tats, I'd probably say piercings. On the other hand, I've seen tattoos on girls that simply say something very good about the girl and how she thinks about her body.....that is very very hot.
Sexlightened
Quote by user=barbarella
Mmmmm.....note to self "never meet up with Jomro999 :giggle: " cheesy foreskins ugggghhhh put me right off my lunch reading that it did. Be brining the baby wipes to the next meet some peeps obviously need them !
Bring the electric can opener and some Tuc, I'll bring the chives and toothbrush and asprin.:yinyang:
Here's some more household stuff:
Rubber jam-jar lid-removers from 2 euro shop. Fits all sizes for chinese burns.
The gas cooker ignition sparker, with or without crocodile clips.
Packet of un-needed broken Tuc crackers to be worn inside latex outfit (or a home made bin-liner outfit). {that's half food fetish, half S&M, soz}
jo
Sexlightened
Quote by user=alan-ball
published on the web as part of the Dr Maxman sales blurb... u should see the pictures to go with it...
I'll believe you...I'm not gonna look though.
The psychological benefits that I can see of having a big cock is that you wouldn't need to notice psychological brain-stew spam adverts telling you you need a bigger cock.
It's easy, if you have a hang-up for having a small cock, and if your girl really does like bigger cocks then simply get her to go to imagination lessons. Is that a new business idea? or a new set of spam e-mails to come?
I prefer to find girls with good imaginations in the first place :thumbup: . It works. ;)
Seriously, it is an old but true cliche to say that it is what you do with it that counts.
Yes, that old cliche in itself is a self-fulfilling psychological trick that has been pressurised onto blokes with small cocks.
There is really no need for such sayings anyway.
Sexlightened
Quote by user=lovebird
Doggie is great :doggy:; better still is piggy-back (like doggy, but with the blokes feet flat on the ground).
Best one that we find is (and I don’t know if it has a name or not……maybe a “half-twisting semi-backward somersault falling aardvark†as a pet name for it :taz: ) is girl lying on side, one leg bent; bloke straddles girl’s straight leg and allow balls to rest on leg.
Then alternating swivelling of blokes hips in reaction to the girl’s hip movement to give a straight forward, forward or backward thrust…..fast, slow, long or short: total control is there.
In that position, you can kiss, rub breasts, rub clit, caress legs, and gently anus rubbing (if liked) know about flicking any beans though. :small-print:
The girl is quite free to direct bloke and move to most comfy position…..lovely.
And best of all, it can be hands-free, so why not have a relaxing smoke during it.:smoke:
jomor it sounds as if you need to be a gymnast to do that....
il need your help i think...
lovebird
xx
Demo video to follow when we get a decent WebCam; live gigs to be announced.
jo
Sexlightened
Quote by user=lovebird
Sink plunger or old breast-milk expresser (cheap pussy-pumps)
Bonjela and chillies. (Oh the pleasure and paint and hot and coldness of it all)
Pump-action toothpaste (but not washed of un-used adds that little something). Maybe even the old tooth-bush for a bit of foreplay (or useful to remove unwanted crusty or cheesy bits from parts…..’dirty foreskins…..lift now’)
The old fairy liquid bottles....you could make anything you wanted, if you watched Blue Peter.
The new ones aren't as good, so I'm off to the design room to re-think.
Leaver action corkscrew for men who don’t ‘stand up’ instantly.
omggggg jomor...cheesy dicks yucckkkkk all i can think of now is philadelphia with chives!!!
lovebird
xx
LB....but you forgot the creme-crackers to go with it. :P
Tuc are the best.....they don't mask the flavours.
That reminds me, back to the thread, how's about an old tin-opener for on-the-spot circumcisions?
(the Bonjela and chillies will come in handy there)
jo
Sexlightened
Sink plunger or old breast-milk expresser (cheap pussy-pumps)
Bonjela and chillies. (Oh the pleasure and paint and hot and coldness of it all)
Pump-action toothpaste (but not washed of un-used adds that little something). Maybe even the old tooth-bush for a bit of foreplay (or useful to remove unwanted crusty or cheesy bits from parts…..’dirty foreskins…..lift now’)
The old fairy liquid bottles....you could make anything you wanted, if you watched Blue Peter.
The new ones aren't as good, so I'm off to the design room to re-think.
Leaver action corkscrew for men who don’t ‘stand up’ instantly.
Sexlightened
Doggie is great :doggy:; better still is piggy-back (like doggy, but with the blokes feet flat on the ground).
Best one that we find is (and I don’t know if it has a name or not……maybe a “half-twisting semi-backward somersault falling aardvark†as a pet name for it :taz: ) is girl lying on side, one leg bent; bloke straddles girl’s straight leg and allow balls to rest on leg.
Then alternating swivelling of blokes hips in reaction to the girl’s hip movement to give a straight forward, forward or backward thrust…..fast, slow, long or short: total control is there.
In that position, you can kiss, rub breasts, rub clit, caress legs, and gently anus rubbing (if liked) know about flicking any beans though. :small-print:
The girl is quite free to direct bloke and move to most comfy position…..lovely.
And best of all, it can be hands-free, so why not have a relaxing smoke during it.:smoke:
Best one that we find is (and I don’t know if it has a name or not……maybe a “half-twisting semi-backward somersault falling aardvark†as a pet name for it :taz: ) is girl lying on side, one leg bent; bloke straddles girl’s straight leg and allow balls to rest on leg.
Then alternating swivelling of blokes hips in reaction to the girl’s hip movement to give a straight forward, forward or backward thrust…..fast, slow, long or short: total control is there.
In that position, you can kiss, rub breasts, rub clit, caress legs, and gently anus rubbing (if liked) know about flicking any beans though. :small-print:
The girl is quite free to direct bloke and move to most comfy position…..lovely.
And best of all, it can be hands-free, so why not have a relaxing smoke during it.:smoke:
Sexlightened
Dora, great stuff.
It sounds so boring to be a bloke.....maybe it is better that we blokes just sit in front of the TV with our smelly undies on.
But not I..(apart from the smelly pants bit :doh: )...I like to help my female get ready; help buy the undies and clothes and make-up, put on the make-up even (not on me though).
She looks like great, blokes love her (I like that bit.....I think that she does to); I look like shit when going out.
But Beauty and the Beast is a long loved fairy tale.
Sexlightened
Quote by user=dora
why dont you say you are seperated and geting divorced??.. oh and that you are with a partner at present but you're not sure how that is going to pan out, so you are free to have discreet meets with others that accept my situation??? ( dora wipes hands )
Yep. That should be one of the options on the pull-down menu.
Sexlightened
On signing up....the choices are like a final year philosophy degree MCQ.
You have to chose one, you can't enter the true definition.
So, for me which one could I choose?
Technically, I'm still MARRIED; but will be DIVORCED; so am I ALMOST DIVORCED but that would mean that I'm ALMOST SINGLE; but I'm in a relationship since splitting up with spouse, so maybe that makes me a COUPLE. But, I'm not on here as a COUPLE under my username. So therefore that leaves me to toss-up between MARRIED (making me sound like a couple) or ALMOST DIVORCED.
There is no option for what I am.
I could have opted for ALMOST SINGLE and been one of the ones who are a topic of this topic.
(I'll go and change it to that and then come back to play devils advocat).
and let's not chat about what the 'assets' means.
J.I A me who doesn't know what I am.
Sexlightened
Getting rid of the Forums? what a silly idea.
Getting rid of the Forums would really place the site in the realms of a no personality type site.
As we can see, the 'anything goes' threads are popular……people chat about anything, and it ain’t all ‘when can we meet?’. Meeting and sex can be pretty bloody boring unless someone has something to say.
At least the forums show that people here have something to say. AND have a good sense of humour.
The Chat rooms are good, but you can only take so much of someone rubbing themselves on cam. You can only take so much of someone saying ‘core, girl, you are hot’.
So, this site without the Forums?
You’d need to rename it ‘Swing4BoringIreland’ or ‘dontexpectanyfunchatfromuswhilewegetourcrotchesoutoncam4Ireland’ (that’d really be picked up on google).
j.i.
Sexlightened
Addies obviously has some time on her hands....she probably doesn't swing at all...just hangs around swinging sites with a measuring tape and a clip-board.
Anyway, after that I'd better admit that mine is NO hood but, still, all good.
My other half says she prefers it. She says it looks neat no matter what size-state it is in and is a tempting thing to jump upon.
And she describes some uncircumcised blokes as "when they peel the foreskin back, the first reaction is to reach for a cracker to put the cottage cheese on".
But....for some reason we are brought up with a stigma of circumcision. Why? It is silly to have such a stigma attached.I don't know.
I've been done since I was a baby.
ian
Anyway, after that I'd better admit that mine is NO hood but, still, all good.
My other half says she prefers it. She says it looks neat no matter what size-state it is in and is a tempting thing to jump upon.
And she describes some uncircumcised blokes as "when they peel the foreskin back, the first reaction is to reach for a cracker to put the cottage cheese on".
But....for some reason we are brought up with a stigma of circumcision. Why? It is silly to have such a stigma attached.I don't know.
I've been done since I was a baby.
ian
Sexlightened
Quote by user=dora
( Dora whispers to Addies .. 'who is chuck norris'?? iv never heard of him??)
Shouldn't whsiper without asking....but it's OK between you two.
I'll also tell you who chuck norris is...
Chuck Norris got his Arse Kicked by BRUCE LEE in the movie 'The Way of The Dragon'.....Broooooooce.
jo
Sexlightened
Quote by user=deliciousdonna
no famous people at the minute...well i am curious about angelina jolie, i would love to be seduced by her
Had her, I think.....Angelina's crap. Just crap. Her face felt like glossy magazine paper; her hair spelt like something from a magazine printers.
I'd find her dad more sexy.....midnight cowboy (I could have swung that way maybe....if it we're for the existence of women).
jo
Sexlightened
Hi ya, bkelly.
As many will tell you, don't expect to get an 'actual' meet straight away. (you may do though)
But....there is no reaszon why you can't get involved with on-line chatting (via the forums or the chatroom) simply because you're a single bloke.
I'd say that if you came in 'heavy' and pushy (=the gobshite) from the start, then you may find some 'non-too-welcome' responses.
Advice is to chat on-line (ie public), obey the rules of respect, have some fun....and if something comes out of that then fine; if not then you've still had a bit of fun and maybe made some others have a giggle or some thoughts (that ain't timewasting...surely).
jo
Sexlightened
ps. Dora, since my letter, I decided to try a bit of 'something else' with the doll....I was a bit rough (not being use to handling men ya see).
So, that lovely half naked woman will get back all of the goodies except
a) the blow-up doll has a puncture repair on his neck.
b) there are now 3 used condoms placed back in the pack.
Maybe she will appreciate it if I wrap them in tissue paper and carefully dispose of them in the bin.
Tom (the burglar)
pps. Can't wait for addies to cast wisdom over the land.
Sexlightened
Quote by user=live4life
well bald for me.................but i do have a bad thing about body hair in general:crazy:
just cant see me sticking my face into hair --- but whatever ur comfortable with yourself
Well I'd of never guessed by watching you in video chatroom.
AND
On hygienic pussies.....a well scrubbed bush is as clean and hygienic as well washed shaven.
And, there's nothing wrong a few lingering dew drops to lap up either. :devil:
jo
