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Titan79
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 46
0 km · Offaly
Forum
Sex God
Quote by user=t-bags
google says I'm a guitarist from a famous band (funny that, coz I do play the guitar lol), a professor of astrophysics at edinburgh university (another coincidence - physics is one of my hobbies!!!), and a Premier league footballer, CEO of a championship football team, a poet, and CEO of Enterprise rent-a-car. wow.
T-Bags,
I'm going to the Uk in two weeks for a weekend, can ya sort me with a well Priced Mondeo? Hertz are a rip off.:smoke:
Sex God
Excellent Points alan Barb and Cherry,
The Single male has got as lot going against him on here and unfortounately its a thing of putting in the effort, being polite getting to build up a rapport with people, I am here Mainly to attend Parties and meet couples, and Thankfully I have achieved both, But I tell ya I was here the guts of 8 months sending the long wionded emails and honestly have to say I didnt get one reply. The chat rooms are a great way to get involved, but alas they are not for everyone.
Keep the Faith bothers in Swing.
Sex God
Yes Happened once with a Person I met from another site, They were not what they portrayed in theyre pictures, I made my excuses and left, anyone that doesnt have the decency to be honest with me doenst deserve my Company.
If you could Contribute one positive attribute to the swinging scenes image what would it be?
Sex God
I Had a ladyfriend shave mine a few months back and jaysus twas an awful looking site and I had to put moisturising metrosexual crap on it, sure it fel grand and must say It added a bit to the fun but was a bit high maintence. I just keep It trimmed now, I think the key thing is moisturise the daylights out of yer bits, and sure if yer so inclined ya can get a secondary benefit while at it
Sex God
I Don't think so, You Kinda tenbd to recall what makes them tick sexually after a first encounter.
If you were one of the last of your Kind on this planet would you shag someone you found terribly unattractive for the sake of the progression of man Kind, or would ya let humanity die with you?
Sex God
Quote by user=BullAndBoo
A man boarded an aircraft in New York and took his seat. As he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realized she was heading straight towards his seat and, Bingo! She took the seat right beside him.
Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in France."
He swallowed hard. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked: "What's your business role at this convention?
"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really," he smiled, "What myths are those?"
"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that black men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Red Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Italian men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Indian descent. However, we have found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish."
Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you; I don't even know your name."
"Running Bear," the man said. "Running Bear Naidoo, but my friends just call me
:grin:Boo.:grin:
Excellent Bullandboo:laughabove:
Two girls were bathing together. So one girl asked her mate, "How come you have very little pubic hair on your pussy?" The other girl replied with this question, "Hey, have you ever seen tall grass on a busy road?"
Man and Wife at a Marraige Seminar dealing with communication.
Instructor says its essential that husbands and wives know things about each other.
He says to the husband what is your wives favourite flower.
Husband gives his wife a loving smile and says " Its Odlums isnt it?"
female college lecturer reminds her students about their exam tomorrow .apart from a death in the family or a nuclear attack im not taking any excuses for not sitting the at the back says,What if im suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion? class erupts into it quitens down she looks at him and says,Well youl have to write with your other hand
My nookie days are over
My pilot light is out
What used to be my sex appeal
Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord
From my trousers it would spring
But now I've got a full-time job
To find the blasted thing.
It used to be embarrassing
The way it would behave
For every single morning
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches
It sure gives me the blues
To see it hang its little head
And watch me tie my shoes.
---------------------------------------------------------------
The seven dwarfs went to meet the pope
"Go on Dopey, ask, chanted the other 6
"Sir are there black nuns in Alaska",
"Yes there are" answered the pope
"Go on Dopey, ask, urged the other 6
Dopey blushed and asked " Sir are there midget nuns in Alaska"
"No i dont think so" said the pope
All 6 leapt up shouting
"Dopey rode a penguin, Dopey rode a penguin"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paddy is walking home one night when he sees a woman in the shadows.
"Twenty quid and I'm yours," she whispers.
He's never been with a prostitute before but he thinks to himself, "why not?" so they disappear into the bushes. They've been shagging away for a few minutes when a light flashes on them they look up and see a police officer.
"What's going on here then?" asks the officer.
"Er, I'm just making love to my wife officer," Paddy answers quickly.
"Oh I'm sorry," says the cop "I didn't know."
"Well," says Paddy, "until you shined that flashlight on her face, neither did I."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I WILL SURVIVE - GLORIA GAYNOR'S FAMOUS SONG
MALE VERSION
First I was afraid I was petrified
At the ugly slapper that was lying by my side
I would've drunk a little less, I would've tried to keep my head.
If I'd known for just one second you'd assault me in your bed…
I tried to go, walk out the door
But you've been sitting on my legs and I can't feel them anymore
And now you're sitting on my face, my nose has vanished - not a trace,
I only hope that your big knickers aren't made of liquorice lace
I want to go, I've got to leave
Before your fat and naked body makes me want to heave
Only hope that no one saw me walking home with such a slut.
God the things that you get up to when you're half cut.
Please let me go, I'm getting scared
There's nothing I can do to stop those ugly breasts from being bared.
I think that I must have been mad,
God what made me want to court her?
With t*ts that look like Tesco bags I've just filled up with water
It's time to go, run out the door
She's started hinting she wants sex on her dirty lino floor
I don't think there's anything worse than the al-co-hol-ics curse.
I WILL SURVIVE !
To which the girls reply.........
FEMALE VERSION
At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
By the ugly w***er that was lying by my side.
I would've drunk a little less, I would've tried to keep my head,
If I'd know for just one second I'd be in your crusty bed...
I tried to go, walk out the door.
But I laughed so hard at your small knob that I've fallen on the floor.
Your butts a pimply mess, it's just a broken-out disgrace,
But I'd rather look at that, than at your F###ing ugly face...!
I want to go, I've got to leave.
Your talk of chicks and football really makes me want to heave.
I only know I've got to stop my drinking spirits and the beer
Coz when I looked at you last night, you looked just like Richard Gere !
Please let me go, I feel quite sick,
We had the worst sex in the world and you're an ugly p**ck
I should have shagged your gorgeous mate, at least he's got a lovely flat
But no I go and trust the booze and now I'm stuck with you, you tw*t.
It's time to go, run out the door.
You look so ugly it should really be against the law.
I'm going to give up all the booze, I'm going to have no stupid fun
Coz waking up beside your mug, just makes me want to be a nun !
I WILL SURVIVE!!
Sex God
Hmm I think your on to something there Mr Bags, That's a difficult question to answer.
I think I am an OK Person lol, But being very honest you either like me or loathe me, and I reckon if a person takes the time to get to know me and not makes judgements on first impressions they'll be doing OK with me, just think about it, its taken you a lifetime to be who you are, lifes full of trials and tribulations that make you who you are and if people cant accept that, point them in direction of nearest river and tell them to take a running jump.
.......I'll get the quarantine kit ready. Sex God
Hmmm Cherry If I didnt know any better I'd reckon yer a lady I know from another site...........
Anyhoo,
I muyself think that yes there is a clearly defined line between the two.
Lust, to me is urely base and an animal like emotion, more so an instinct, we see someone we crave themn we desire them for the possible sexual gratification that laying with them will bring( very biblical I know all this laying)
Love on the other hand is a complex collection of emotions and bonding excercises, a sense of belonging and being wanted when we are with the special someone, the sense of elation when in theyre presence, feeling safe in theyre embrace, knowing that you can share your trials and tribulations in life, halving the burden of everyday thing's. I could go on with a load of cliches but I think that its certainly different.
Sex God
Wishing I was being objectified right this minute........:grin:
Personally I dotn mind, But being taken for granted I do. I know in this game you may be exposed to both, but I like to think I develop some sort of common ground with the other party, sure I know its just sex and fun but mutual respect should always be an element.
Sex God
Quote by user=offallycouple
I am free next weekend any room for a Nordie?
Mind you last time I was in Waterford I took out a very large plant in a well known bar, and was removed for health and safety reasons:eeek:
Alas, I recall that night well Offaly, I was the poor misfortounate that had to break it to that bamboo plants kids that daddy wouldnt be coming home.
Happy Birthday Anto I know its a few days early maybe, alas I cant make it mate but have a great night.
Titan79.
Sex God
Have done and It was great craic, was a little privately shot thing for a wealthy businessmans private collection...Loooong story:hunk:
Have you ever went to a swing club in another country, unfortounately they are as publicly accessable as a freemasons convention in this country.
Sex God
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