Quote by user=buxy
It started with laughter and merryment.
what were you last thoughts before you went to bed tonight?
Hmmmm should I let her sleep or fuck her again, I went with the latter. :smoke:
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Titan79
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 46
0 km · Offaly
Forum
I Met a Woman from another site and she turnwed out to be a bit mental, despite talking for weeks online and the pohone, she was very Different in person.
Whats the strangest improvised sex toy you've ever used?
Sex God
NP Jilljack, Honesty best policy with me.
Well if thats what yer looking for, I will have think about it, I know that part of the world reasonably well I'll email on any suggestions, Barna woods was kinda famous spot for dogging but Its more closer the city. Have you had a look in the dogging section under galway to see if theres anything there?
Sex God
Hi Jilljack,
Connemara is a big spot, and fairly isolated so you might be best off arranging to meet near Clifden or somewhere with some population. Have a great weekend Its a lovely part of the world. I'm In Galway but unfortounately I smoke so I wont throw my name in the ring.
Happy swinging.
Sex God
Quote by user=mcam
Can i ask has anyone else got sick of sending personal messages and never getting replies,some of them remain unread as well
If you have messages that are unread chances are the person you sent it to has not been on since to check them.
Although second reason and less likely one is that the person is a female and has so many emails in her inbox she has not gotten around to seeing it yet.
People tend to not reply to emails on here if they have no interest in interacting with a person that emails them, I know it may be a bit harsh but some feel that by sending a no thank you some people may not like the reply and in return engage them in further messaging.
Hope that shines some light on things.
Sex God
A young guy drops off his girlfriend at her home after being out together on a date. When they reach the front door he leans up against the house with one hand and says to her, "How about a blowjob?"
"What! Are you crazy!"
"Don't worry, it will be quick," he ensures his girlfriend.
"No! Someone might see us..."
"It's just a small blowjob," he insists, "and I know you like it."
"No! I said no!"
"Baby... don't be like that."
Suddenly, the girl's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown, with her hair a mess, and rubbing her eyes. She looks at them and smirks, "Dad says either you blow him, I blow him, or he'll come downstairs and blow the guy himself... but for God's sake tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom."
Sex God
The following only ever seems to happen in Porn.
Things You Learn From Watching Porn:
Women wear high heels to bed.
Men are never impotent.
When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he fucks her.
Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with spunk.
Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.
Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.
Women always orgasm when men do.
A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
All women are noisy fucks.
People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
Those tits are real.
A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum.
If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
Double penetration makes women smile.
Asian men don't exist.
If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
There's a plot.
When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass.
Nurses suck patients cocks.
Men always pull out.
When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of you.
Women never have headaches.
When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it'.
Assholes are clean.
A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there.
Men don't have to beg.
When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
Pigtails = handlebars.
Things You Learn From Watching Porn:
Women wear high heels to bed.
Men are never impotent.
When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he fucks her.
Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with spunk.
Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.
Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.
Women always orgasm when men do.
A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
All women are noisy fucks.
People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
Those tits are real.
A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum.
If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
Double penetration makes women smile.
Asian men don't exist.
If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
There's a plot.
When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass.
Nurses suck patients cocks.
Men always pull out.
When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of you.
Women never have headaches.
When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it'.
Assholes are clean.
A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there.
Men don't have to beg.
When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
Pigtails = handlebars.
Sex God
Got home from the pub last night, and found the missus in bed crying.
"What's up love?" I asked.
"We've had a burglar!", she said.
"Did he get anything?", I enquired.
"Too fucking right he did, I thought it was you!"
_________________________________________________________
Why is it that pensioners can remember an entire war, but forget four feckin digits at a chip and pin machine?
_________________________________________________________
My Personal Fave.......
Watched this film called 'anal lesbians' the other day.
They spent the entire film going through the fridge labelling everything..:thrilled:
--------------------------------------------------------
A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Tampa Airport . The pilot comes on the intercom,'This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa . I want to thank you for flying with us today and hope you enjoy your stay in the Tampa Bay area'.
He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The co-pilot can be heard saying to the pilot, 'So, Skip, whatcha got planned while we're in Tampa?'
'Well,' says the skipper, 'first I'm gonna check into the hotel, take a big crap... then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner.... I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and give her a ride on the baloney pony all night long.'
Aghast and amused, everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle, trying to figure out who this new stewardess is that the pilot's talking about. Meanwhile, the new stewardess is seated at the very back of the plane. She is so embarrassed that she starts running toward the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes.
The old lady leans over and says: 'No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta land the plane and take a shit first!
Sex God
Quote by user=tippbi
A dwarf went to her doctor. "Doctor, every time I go out in the rain I get a sore pussy". The doctor examined her & could find nothing wrong so she left rather unhappy.
Two weeks later she came back, "doctor, I went out in the rain again yesterday & after 5 minutes my pussy was aching, there must be something wrong. The doctor examined her again but could still find nothing wrong, so she left really unhappy.
Another week went by & on a really wet & windy day she arrived in the doctors office again. "Doctor, I'm in absolute agony, there must be something seriously wrong with me. So he put her up on the table had a look up her dress. "Aha" he said, went away, came back, fumbled about under her dress for a few minutes. "Right that should do it" said the doctor. So she left again, puzzled but relieved.
Three days later she came back smiling. "Doctor, it's been raining for the last three days & there hasn't been a bother on me. I don't know what you did to me but it worked". The doctor replied, "I didn't do anything to you, I just cut the tops off your wellies".........
Priceless photo :-)
Sex God
Quote by user=chi
yes ur spot on total waste off time have sent loads off messages most are not even read had only one reply and the meeting up never happened after wasting months on here.i could go to pub any night and pull but because i have girlfriend and want another female for threesome is not that easy
Get some pictures of herself up there with you, might be worth a try.
