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Titan79
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 46
0 km · Offaly
Forum
well a suck 
:worship:
Sex God
LITTLE RALPHY ON MAT H'S
A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'
She calls on little Ralphy.
He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'
The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking..'
Then little RALPHY says, 'I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top= of the ice cream.
Which one is married?'
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'
To which Little RALPHY replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.'
LITTLE RALPHY ON MATHS (Part 2)
Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
'Why?' asks the father?
'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies RALPHY.
'But that's right!' says his dad.
'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''
'What's the f...... difference?' asks his father.
'That's what I said!'
LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH
Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class.. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'
RALPHY says 'Mas-tur-bate..'
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little RALPHY, that's a mouthful.'
Little RALPHY says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob.'
LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2 )
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'
'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
'My m u mmy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.'
She said, 'Excellent, Michael!' Then the teacher reluctantly called on little RALPHY.
'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just f...... beauti ful!''
LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER
Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'
Little RALPHY replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'
The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'
Little RALPHY answered, 'No, he minded his own f....... business
Sex God
...getting up from her seat the receptionist raced to the surgery and grabbed her stray sex toy from the floor the poor guy had tripped over and waving it above head screamed 'gang bangs on me'...Just then Fr Darcy the local curate walked in the door of the strangely quiet reception area.......
Sex God
...for me scones, they are savage dry withouth it. Just then She recalled that she had left the cat at the vets for his de lousing and she better get there and collect him, 'nothing worse than an irritated pussy' she mused. Arriving at the Vets she notice the cute new receptionist and wondered had the horny old vet had his way with her yet, Mr McNeutered was a horny old bugger despite his name and she'd often had a stray grope or a suspiciously incidentle crotch bump from the old git over the years. Walking into the surgery she held her hand to her mouth aghast as the scene befoe yer unfurled....
Sex God
Well 'Hoppipolla' By 'Sigur ros'would be a beautiful piece of music to climax to, its haunting piano and ever building crecendo throughout the song would go well with a bit of slow passionate sex':doggy:
As For a full On 'clatter fuck' has to be 'Ace of spades' by Motorhead'....:taz:
(though just thinking about it now I see myself and the other person moving around the bed in High speed trying loads of positions ala 'Benny Hill sped up chasing women sequence'......Welll...am...I think I need to lie down Now..........Benny Hill Tune eminating through my head argh!!!!!!:evil2:
Sex God
would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party. The party, uh.. the party with pants. ("Brick are you trying to say that there's a party in your pants and I'm invited?)..Ah, that's it! ("Did Brian put you up to this?") No..Yes, yes he did. (No, Brick, I will not attend a party in your pants.") Very well then...Ian? Would you like to come to a party in my pants?
The Legend 'Brick Tamland' Anchorman
The Legend 'Brick Tamland' Anchorman
Sex God
I want to write something in reply to this thread but my pissed off state is clouding my judgement.
...here goes,
swinging for me is the whole thing of sharing experiences, I primarily had Joined here to meet with couples, as I had been on the scene in the UK when I lived there a few years back and the draw then was the openness and uncompromising and non judgemental attitude of those that swing.
I would Imagine pigeon holing people like this isn't very productive.
Sex God
Quote by user=t-bags
watched Black Snake Moan a cpl of nights ago.....good film, but was expecting something a little harsher for some reason. Got halfway through The Assasination Of Jesse James the other week, then fell asleep....not coz its boring - i was really tired lol. Will deffo be rewatching it to see the end, but wont mind watching it al the way through as I enjoyed the first half.
T, Maybe you mixed it up with that other Samuel l jackson snake themed film, the Partagon of crap cinema that is 'Snakes on a plane'?
Last film I watched was 'Taken' Liam neeson goes after some nasty eastern european kidnappers to save his daughter, was'nt too bad actually.
Sex God
Quote by user=lovebird
i do see where your coming from just if you put that question up against some of the things asked here ie..are ya shaved? do you swallow?etc etc...its rather tame.
i think its more of a basis to start a conversation with someone you may not no very well,just a cyber friend,if you see what mean.
confession time for me now....took me about two months to realise what 'fun' meant!! the answers ive given ppl....they mustve thought i was raving...fs..sometmes can be so innocent or just a dope!!!but i learn quickly thank god...
lovebird
xx
Rembers first time I spoke to LB and asked her any fun lately, Think she said she'd been Playing hopscotch
hwoar:Aww bless she learned.:doggy:
Sex God
Interesting Post LB,
I'd Just Like to Highlight something here which is sticking out from LB opening post and I am surprised no one's mentioned it besides the negativity towards BBW.
The Guy seems to foster an opinion that because she is bbw and on this site that she is an easy lay?..now I know for a fact having spoken to my friends that do know I swing this can be a common misconception, that us....i.e. Swingers are a band of uncompromising sex animals that shag and plunder all before us with no discrimination. I think these guys come on here with that attitude more so than the BBW issuem as in to say 'ah all these swinger women are mad for cock, and would ride anything etc, god that fecking gets my back up. If anything I have found people in the swinging fraternity are more decerning and if anything far more choosey on who they have fun with. This guy just comes across as a Moron LB, I doubt you were missing out on much.
Sex God
I'll Raise me hand and admirt I am guilty off it, I'm a perv get over it.
Then again I also use the opening line, 'any craic' and if you were an american you could well assume I was trying to obtained a banned substance from you.
Its a question just -me, you can say 'yeah loads' or 'Bugger of ya Nosey git' Simple as that.
Yes I think a Pink star would be as bad. ah well Maybe admin will read this and change it.
it would be nice to have a dedicated Icon in chat for Transgender , I have seen it on other sites.
