Hi folks, I'm looking to meet someone to have a chat or coffee with so they could verify me as a genuine user. I'm free tommorrow evening after 8 in Dublin area if anybody about for a chat. It's a pain in the h**e when u get turned down str8 away cause not being verified so hopefully someone will give me a dig out, tks guys.
Yes it is hard to get verified ...and it is the first step required for most here .... That said .. I have been around the country ( yeah not all off it yet ) and have given up my free time to help peeps get on the vitrification ladder ....and to my utter dismay 95% off lads don't show up or even have the manners to say they cant make it ... If you want to get verified there are three simple steps to follow (1) show up (2) have coffee and a laugh (3) be yourself .... ( so easy to spot a fake ) Yes i will have more coffee meets ...but only because the peeps i have meet have been simply the best bunch ever and i have had so much fun ...But if your not going to show for a simple cup off coffee ...is there really any chance off you showing for a shag ...read forums ... keep up-to date with events and show up , the opportunities have been there for all , no one is going to hold you hand to make you take the first step .
yes this is the tough bit, but you do have to put in the effort.
Have a look at your profiles and try to imagine you are somebody seeing it for the first time.
Would it catch your eye?
Is it interesting?
Do I get a sense of the person who wrote it?
Do I want to know more?
If you get 4 yes's, you've made a great start.
Pop into the chat rooms and take part in some of the forum discussions - some are great fun.
Go to m+gs and get out there. Believe me it ain't going to come to you.
Introduce yourself to the community. Any of the newbies I meet along the way who are sound I am quite happy to leave a comment on their profile, it all helps. Fakes will always get spotted.
Finally and most importantly - if you do agree to meet somebody for coffee or fun [b:4f7d2c15c6]do not[/b:4f7d2c15c6] stand them up. Single guys have a reputation for that and unfortunately for good reason.
Put the effort in and you'll have a terrific time.
well said Beddy and Foreverhard
If you really want to get verified guys dont disappear off the face of the earth the day before the meet or suddenly your dog dies..car broken down..etc etc.. If you chicken out, tell the person we were all newbies once and suffering with nerves, or text them to say can't make it.. it goes a long way towards a possible second change at meeting.
A no show in my books is the worst thing you can do, us girlies talk ya know!
either meet or dont.. no messing.. its so much fun and ya never know who u might meet..
Happy swinging!
Ginger
I'm not sure how to take this increasing amount of requests for coffee meets specifically for the purpose of being verified (getting the Established Tag). To me it would seem you would meet someone for coffee to decide if there was a spark there, with a hope of arranging a future meet or alternatively you were friendly on-site and wanted the social opportunity of a coffee. If I knew someone had been verified on the strength of simply turning up for coffee in order to get the verification then I would treat this as a worthless verification. I can achieve the same amount of information on you by going into a private room and seeing you on a web-cam. Up to now if I saw a person was verified and not commented on I would consider a)what happened that the person meeting them did not want to comment? and b)were they simply verified because they met at a meet n greet etc. and the person confirmed they were seen and were real. Anyone can turn up and be on their best behaviour knowing that it's to their benefit. Verification would mean nothing to me as a rule, it's the comments on the profile that would hold more weight. Also this is a request that needs to be worded very diplomatically. Not making reference to this post specifically but the literal way of looking at these requests is as follows 'Will you take some of your personal time, come meet me and confirm on-site I am a flesh & blood human being. With this verification I can then go off and try and meet the people I actually want to meet.' With this new trend in mind I think I might now be more inclined to look closely at the verifications and ask under what circumstances this was given. If you turned up for a 30 minute coffee or turned up as part of a group project then I am sorry, that verification is about as valuable in my considerations as a €3 note. I don't mean to seem harsh in this post but a touch of realism goes a long way. Lots of members here have verifications simply from turning up at events or putting in the ground-work through chat and onsite communication. Recently there have been several meet n greets and also there is a regular meeting facility in the Mid-Week Meets. These are tried and tested methods...... I guess my main point is don't attach too much importance to the verification (Established Tag), some here only go by comments. You might find you get that verification but still need to do more to get that meet you are looking for.
from my experience on here
people will only meet if you are verified and how is that going to happen if you cant get somebody to meet up
i have sent messages to people here and its the same reply all the time
"sorry i only meet verified people"
and i know and understand all about the safety aspect of doing that but lets call a spade a spade
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We wont verify unless we have had a sexual meet because at the end of the day thats what the site is really about and while meeting to chat works for some people and they think they have got to know a person simply by doing that we want to get to know what a person is like both in and out of the bedroom. After all they could be the nicest person on earth but if it doesnt work in the sack your going to be let down without the bang
I really think the best way to get noticed here is to be visable in the chatroom. If you come accross well and people like you ask them for a meet for coffee a with a view to moving on to more, that how i did it and i do ok getting to meet people for fun. Like all things worth while it takes time and you need to put in the effort but it is so worth it when you do!!
lots of good comments, particularly midnightchat and ravenfire.
and i understand the frustration of the rest!
i am new and unverified and a single male (the 'great unwashed' i hear you say?)
i am finding hard to get into conversations in the chatroom, but i know that if i head along to a meet and talk to people face to face, looking into their eyes when actually conversing that i will be able to be myself one hundred percent, i get the feeling, from ecxperiencd users comments, that people on the site are fair and understand the challenges of being a newbie.
so whenever i get around to actually meeting people for real, i can be myself, and if they like me we may have a more intimate encounter, hopefully they will comment and verify , and if they dont like me then i will meet someone else who does. [b:c3ec1d9e94]you cant be everybodys cup of tea, coz then youd be a teapot![/b:c3ec1d9e94]
its hard to get urself across right through remote contact, if you think about it, as a species we spent thousands of years developing our communication techniques, and 99% of that time was face to face, we developed a massive amount of intuition through reading expressions and body language, and only in the last two hundred years or so have we developed technology that allows us to communicate remotely, so our little brains couldnt possibly fill in all the gaps yet!!
face to face! cheek to cheek!
looking forward to it!!
PEACE
About Member Verification Member verification, like image verification, can be used to prove that you are who you claim to be, by using other members to vouch for you. This should give confidence to other members of the site that you are genuine and that you are not a fake. After member verification, your profile will show that you have been member-verified. Member verification is optional. Member and image verification are different processes, both help to give others confidence in you. ^^^^^ ^^^^^^ ^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^ ^^^^^^ ^^^^ ^^^^^ ^^^^^ The above is site information , available for all to read when they click on "member verified " Both will give confidence that you are what you claim to be, but no system can prove that you are 100% genuine. Coffee is coffee , sex is sex , either .. or ... if the people we are with are human and have made the effort to show up ,We are happy to verify them as just that " Human " , its not a catcher reference or an outline on there sexual abilities , Its as simple as ...." We have have meet them and they are real " Its my opinion that comments are more off a catcher reference on site and as with most things in life , It pays to check information out for yourself .
I havnt a clue whether i'm verified or not...as for leaving comments on people's profile without being ignorant i never think to do it,specially as i think it takes bit longer than to suss a person out then a half hour meet,as for coffee meets main reason i like them is it gives you few more faces to recognize if you go to meet n also give a chance to both parties who may have been flirting in chat to meet up in a relaxed atmosphere and see if there's some sort of spark or mutual attraction in the that's my useless tuppence worth on the subject i off to brave the cold now
To see if you are verified ...
click on profile in list on the left off screen ... then click the view tab ... there you will see the box / profile pic ... beside it you will see " member verified " click on this to see who has verified you ... or on others profile , you will see they are verified .
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...read forums ... keep up-to date with events and show up , the opportunities have been there for all , no one is going to hold you hand to make you take the first step .
