Basically what I'm looking for is this.
Ten or eleven women and myself.
Now I'm quite lazy so you'll have to organise it yourselves, so basically the first 10-12 women to reply (first 10-12 only, I'm not a machine) get in touch with each other, email, text etc. Source a venue (ye may pay for it now, I'm abut strapped for cash)
on the night, you may each perform a sexy dance for me (some of you might like to get together beforehand to practice a joint routine), then you may all go full lesbionic oneach other, at which point I will grab the nearest one of ye for approximately 1-3 minutes of disappointing sex (notice I said approximate, I am not guaranteeing 3 minutes)
after that I'll snore noisily, with the occasional fart thrown in, for the next 12 hours
so come on ladies, draw straws amongst yourselves when the inevitable deluge of replies comes and you just might be one of the lucky ones!!!
P.s. Women who are part of couples, yes your husband may attend if he is willing to serve food/drinks and wait outside at all other times
ciao mi sexy amigos
discreet x
Hmmmmmmmmmm I think if I was to go 'lesbionic' I'd be inclined to stay that way for the night considering the alternative, I'd have more fun driving fast over a speed bump!
:bounce::bounce: NoW how can a lady refuse an offer like that.................... :sleeping::sleeping:sign me up straight away NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!! Sorry D i'm sure it'll be a brilll night, but i'm havin my teeth pulled that day :doh:
Quote by user=midnightchat Hmmmmmmmmmm I think if I was to go 'lesbionic' I'd be inclined to stay that way for the night considering the alternative, I'd have more fun driving fast over a speed bump!
Some player hating going on in this thread.
Mid and lass you are shameless, writing allegedy humurous replies then send me PM's saying you're only kidding and would love to come. I don't think so girls, competition is already fierce so you've gone and cost yourselves a shot at the champ.
To the literally hundreds of women who have PM'd me, Thanks. But listen I don't have the time to read all of your repliese in this thread, form a committee, organise it all yourself then mail me. I can't be more clear than that.
To the thousands of women who asked "please, please, please can my husband come???". Yes he can, if he is one of the following people "David Bowie, Mick jagger, sir Paul McCartney, Leonard cohen, slash, ian astbury, morrissey (unlikely I know lol) or the funny looking one out of radiohead".
To the men who mailed me saying "how do you do it?? Your such a legend!!). Well firstly it's you're not your, and secondly have you seen my profile??? But there's more to it than being really really really ridiculously good looking. You need to know how to treat the ladies right, unfortunately that's something you can't teach, if it was I'd write a book and be richer than bill gates!!!
Lastly, stay classy!!!!
jaysus i got flattened in the rush ............ but its ok the doc says my leg will eventually settle where it should be and not be stuck at right angle behind my neck for much longer xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Firstly DB, let me start by apologising for our tardiness in getting this sorted. As you rightly predicted there was a stampede, things got messy and a few girls were lost in the rush. Funerals delayed us and oh! Listen to me twittering on when you’ve clearly more important things to be doing. (on that same note I’d like to apologise on behalf of Drags for bothering you about her broken leg - some women are so selfish). At the end we were left with slightly over your 10-12 quota and so we’ve come to what we hope will be, a satisfactory arrangement. We’ve decided to have it at your house so the girls who you do not require for your sexual gratification will be able to busy themselves with your housework – it would be an honour for them obviously, and it will remove the need for husbands - really there's no need for any other males, it's all about you. I as chair of the committee have taken the liberty of overruling your rejection of mid and lass. Mid you can now refer to as ironing girl (by the way she’d like to know if you like creases in your sleeves?) And Lass can be addressed as fetch girl - she'll get you anything your heart desires. I hope you don’t mind them in your vicinity but what can I say they’re great little scrubbers, they see the errors of their way; they’re really, really sorry and they look great in their french maids outfits. I’m clearly droning on here – you’ve been clear about not wanting to be disturbed with minor details. You have our full assurance that it’s sorted and that you won’t be disappointed.
I as chair of the committee have taken the liberty of overruling your rejection of mid and lass. Mid you can now refer to as ironing girl (by the way she’d like to know if you like creases in your sleeves?)
I've come out in a rash......... I'm genuinely nauseous!
Jaysus discreetbuddy how do you do it!?!
You have the women of s4i queuing up to serve your every need, do your house work and your ironing.
What next? You'll have the ladies discussing the finer points of the offside rule?
Legend!
Wonders what Eden has been drinking, even better can she share lol
As for me being Fetch girl rofl only thing I'm fetching is a bat :grin: and mids iron,which she left on btw lol, and sure DB lie down on the table of doom here and I will iron a few creases outta ya, starting with ur wee willy :whistle
Oops have I upset ya by telling them all ur willy is small lol
Tough rofl
Eden, what can I say! You're exactly the sort of gogetter this thread needed.
I admire your singkemindedness and focus, a lot of the others went all giggly and excitable like a bunch of 12 year olds at a jonas brothers gig. You held it together, combatted the nerves and sorted it.
As for your insistence on bringing mid and lass, I'll overlook it this one time. They are still trying to denigrate me in this thread while sending me increasingly sorrowful emails about how "they're only trying to be cool in front of the others and don't really mean it".
Girls you're lucky I'm such an accomodating guy.
I've also come up with a solution to the problem a lot of ye emailed me with about being worried about not getting to grasp my nettle so to speak.
You can use my face pic to print off life size face masks which you can wear and bring your own strapons. Voilà , problem solved. Imagine it, a room full of me's boning one another.
Every lady and gay mans fantasy come true!!!
Eden when you finalise preparations, hit up my inbox!!!
Arrivederci ladies x
DB, The pleasure was all mine, well mine and the dozen others. Have you thought any more about Mid and Lass' pleadings to be promoted next time?. I really think they'd be an ASSet. Find it in your heart to make two despairing ladies' dreams come true. Eden x
Eden I don't think mid and lass deserve to be promoted to the first team.
They shown nothing but contempt for me altho they do cook up a mean after sex buffet.
I will consider it.
I am a wise and forgiving leader. A king Solomon of sex if you will.
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NoW how can a lady refuse an offer like that....................
and ya knew i'd have done all the work ffs !!! will just have to have my own one so