Hi Everyone
It has been a pleasant discovery for me to find this community. I actually first registered in February 2008, but I didn't really check out the website, forum, etc, until a week ago. Then I was rather impressed. It seems to me that there are some nice people, many beautiful women and, not least, quite a few "free spirits" here. And I'd like to say a big "Thank You" to everyone who has returned a comment to my questions and quips in the chatrooms in the last few days.
(I also changed my name from kaiserck to CoolHand, in order to avoid unnecessary confusion, when I discovered that there is a fairly active kaiserd already here.)
Me? I live in Armagh. I'm 46, divorced about 9 years and haven't been trying very hard to find a serious relationship for the last 3 years. I'm reasonably happy, and I'll probably use the word "cheerful" to describe myself when I get around to adding my tuppenceworth to the thread about describing yourself in one word. I play football regularly - not bad when I remember that I'm 15-25 years older than the rest of the guys I play with. I enjoy canoeing. And in winter I read a lot - particularly the old classics like Dickens, Stevenson, Twain, Shaw, and suchlike.
My tastes? I am 100% straight. I've also come to prefer soft, warm, sensual sex over more athletic sex. And I'm not into pain. I love women and am unable to comprehend causing a woman pain in the name of love and sex. Giving a massage and tantric sex, or a bit of daring in the great outdoors, are more to my tastes. (I emphasise that these are my tastes. I have a very open mind to the many alternative practices which others indulge in.)
What do I hope to find here? Well, ultimately I'd love to find a lady or a couple for occasional meetings and a measure of friendship. (I'm not short of friends, but I'd like to make a few new ones in this community.) But I gather that all that is not straightforward for a single male, so I am happy to bide my time. In the meantime, if any ladies or couples wanted a guy to watch - even with no participation from him - I'd love to join in. If any meet-and-greets are arranged locally - ie virtually anywhere in Ulster - I'd greatly appreciate being invited along. Other than that I'd like to have a few discussions in the forum, if anyone is up for it, and I may manage a story or two for the Story section at some stage.
Thanks for reading all this. There'll be more to follow!
Best Regards
Cool Hand
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Cool Hand Sayin'
jesus coolhand you seem to be a breath of fresh air online.
actually saying that u know it will be hard to find someone at first is refreshing as normally the threads you get on here is "god its so hard to be a guy in this site".
well i saw u in the chat room the other night - no bad comments from you which is a start - my advice to you is get involved in chat - jump in to any open conversation you see happening - and there is narmally a northern ireland room that night take your fancy.
good luck with your indevours
Sex God
Great first post Coolhand, nice to have a bit of good input on a thread.
Sex God
:clap: have to say , a really good introduction , see boys thats how its done :clap:
Hi Everyone
Thanks ever so much for the warm welcome. I really am surprised and delighted by the kind comments.
I'll be away in Ibiza for the next week, so it may seem as if I've disappeared for good. Far from it. I'll be logging into the forum again at the first opportunity when I get back. I'm more of a forum person that a chatroom person - can't keep with all the chatroom conversations without getting dizzy - but I will drop into the chatrooms too at times.
As a footnote to my introduction I should add a couple of things. Firstly, I have no children. That's sometimes an important detail for some ladies, but maybe more in a dating context than in a N.S.A. context like we have here. And, secondly, I now realise that in mentioning meet-and-greets I basically didn't know what I was talking about. I thought that they were preliminary meetings of people from a forum like this, with the mere purpose of getting to know each other. No "action" would take place at the meet-and-greet, but the possibility would be that some who meet might want to meet again and might privately arrange that for a later date - or not, as the case may be. I gather now, from reading another thread, that meet-and-greets can be a lot more than I had thought, so I'd like to clarify that I was really stating my interest in purely social first meetings, with the possibility of arranging something more for another date - or not, as the case may be. :-)
Heartiest Regards to Everyone
Cool Hand
Quote by user=jomor999
Welcome Coolhand (and fellow virgoan if my reading is correct).
Soz to hear about the ex-; I've joined that club a while ago.
And, keep up the promise of some good postings.
jo
Thanks jo. There's a post to follow. I won't many any claims about it being good, but I hope that it will provide a little food for thought.
Best Regards
Cool Hand
At the Crossroads
It seems to me that the world consists of two types of people – those who get too much sex and those who get too little sex. Perversely, some marriages are an uneasy union of one of each type, typically a man who thinks he gets too little sex and a woman who thinks she gets too much. But those who have at some stage in their lives, if not currently, had too much of the same kind of sex, often reach a stage where a measure of boredom sets in. It is like reaching a crossroads, and the question is where to go next. I can’t claim to have had significant spells where I had too much sex, but a partner and I did reach that crossroads. At the time I didn’t find a satisfactory answer (we broke up), but I’ve often thought about the matter since. The following is a collection of my musings on the subject. I add them here to this thread – my intro thread – because they do say something about my tastes and may be of interest to anyone glancing at my intro (says he, hopefully!).
Having Sex Outdoors (4/5)
By the way, sometimes this can be full sex, and sometimes a lot less. One of the killers for romance is that the sex is often in the bedroom, and the location and the sex cease to inspire. The great outdoors works because it has endless changes of location, there’s the thrill of a warm summer breeze and there’s the thrill of being caught, which in itself gives quite an adrenalin rush. I love this one – not a cramped session in the back of a car but intimacy in the great outdoors.
Curiosity (1/5)
Many men drift into porn when the bedroom gets boring. At that certain stage curiosity can take hold of us. How do others do it? What all else do they do? I really believe that many people view porn more out of curiosity than out of pleasure. Occasionally we learn something. But it might be surprising how little influence porn has on our overall tastes – unless we’re fundamentally unstable. I think it rarely provides a satisfactory solution for anything, and can never be a complete end in itself unless we have a very sad existence.
Opposite Sex (0/5)
I had a rather bad experience when I was 16, and have bordered on being anti-homosexual ever since. Apologies, if that offends or seems intolerant, but the truth is that I find the thought of kissing a man or performing a sexual act with a man completely repulsive. I have no such opinion on bi-sexual or gay women. I’m so uninformed, having for the reasons stated above never investigated this area, that I can merely say that it is a possible avenue that some may choose at this stage in their sex life, and leave the subject to others. Others would, quite rightly, rate it much higher than my 0/5, merely reflecting the fact that we’re all different.
Open Relationships (2/5)
There is an excitement about that first time with anyone. When we were young that first time was usually pretty awful, especially for young girls being mauled by some oafish clod who didn’t really know what he was doing. But the excitement of the first time survived, in spite of the anti-climax it sometimes was. And with each new relationship that same first-time tingle really lit our fire. That first-time excitement is, I believe, closely related to the pleasures of swinging (meaning swinging where there is full partner swopping). The new partner and the variety can be very satisfying. I unfairly give it a 2/5 instead of the 4/5 it merits because I’m bothered by the health risk of having too many partners.
Affair (0/5)
As someone said in another thread, few of us here have much right to be too moralistic or judgemental. The risk and stress of extramarital affairs and, more importantly, the likelihood of some innocent person being hurt, has consigned affairs as out of bounds for me. Only once have I had a secret affair with a married woman and, when I discovered it after two meetings, I broke off the contact. I still feel bad about the poor guy who was happily sitting at home waiting for his wife to return. Certainly it will cure the boredom, but at a huge cost.
S & M (1/5)
S&M is a whole spectrum of activities. It has the softer side of role play, tie and tease, gentle spanking, and that is what gets my 1/5 vote. It also has a heavier side of pain, torture, humiliation, slavery, whipping, branding, piercing, cutting and much more. In saying the following I only express my decision and imply no judgement on what others indulge in and enjoy. The heavier side of S&M seemed to me like a long road that becomes increasingly darker. As time progresses you want to experiment in harder and darker activities, the previous levels no longer being satisfactory. And the road seems to have few turnings. My decision was not to embark on that road at all. The soft side is my limit and, if it some day no longer satisfies me, I will give the whole lot up rather than move on to the heavier side. I’d rather explore soft alternatives to any boredom.
Softer Sex (5/5)
Now we’re talkin’! If I’ve learnt anything from relationships it has been from my mistakes. One thing I’d venture to claim that I’ve learnt is that the sex women enjoy and the sex men enjoy are often very different. Part of this is down to the different psychological makeups of men and women and part of it is down to the physical aspects, where men only have erogenous zones around their genitals and women have many more erogenous zones from their feet to their head. (I won’t attempt to offer further details. It is worth any man’s time to research it extensively if they are interested.) Beginning to provide more of the sex that women enjoy can be so worthwhile. The lady enjoys it more, there is more sex and, Hey Presto! The man finds that he is enjoying the whole relationship a lot more himself. A little more romance, more hugging and kissing throughout the day, more-intelligent teasing, more foreplay, more spontaneity and surprise, partner massage and some tantric practices are all part of this world of soft sex. But one thing that is more important than that whole list is that the lady feels warmth and love. It is a case of truly “making loveâ€, sex being a fulfilment of a deep-rooted love between the two partners. Unless the man has the misfortune of having a very selfish partner, he’ll have the time of his life. I’m not a clever guy or a great lover – I merely made oceans of mistakes before some kind women started to give me the feedback which led to a few of these discoveries. I’d have written 6/5 for this one, it is now such a favourite.
Revived Relationship (5/5)
This one is almost the same as the previous one on softer sex. I separate them merely because this one applies all of the above to a husband and wife relationship. This one is out of my reach by several years. I no longer know where my wife lives or whether she has married again. I’ve moved on and have no desire now to retrace any steps. But I rate it as 5/5 as a recommendation to those couples who feel some boredom or need to revive a flagging relationship. I wish you all the best.
These roads are not mutually exclusive. We are not limited to taking just one of them as would be the case with a geographical crossroads. We can take several, as and how we please.
Having read this, you know a lot more about my tastes and views. But that is only about half of my reason for writing it. I’d love to hear of other roads that can be taken – roads I’m unaware of or have omitted to mention - how they are enjoyed, and so forth. I’m happy to hear others point out where my views may be wrong. I’d love to hear what your ratings would be for the list of roads which I’ve rated form 0/5 – 5/5. Few will feel comfortable about discussing their sexuality so openly and publicly but, knowing this, I will be all the more appreciative of your comments. Thank you.
Finally, in case it hasn’t come across in what I’ve written already, I’d like to re-emphasise that these are merely my views and decisions. There is no sense of “this is right†in the above.
Heartiest Regards
Cool Hand
outdoor sex..5/5..
The thrill of a quickie in the open air, the possibility that you may get caught is without doubt one of lifes pleasures!
Probably stems as well from teenage groping escapades behind Church walls and youth clubs.. ah the memories..
Car sex can be fun, but draw the line at dogging, i do understand the appeal for those who indulge, but if you enjoy being watched surely you can do this inside, knowing that you are safe much more enjoyable..
Curiosity..
4/5..
Am always open to new experiences, and have enjoyed and hope to still enjoy exploring a few more sexual activities.
As many women enjoy porn as men, visualy it is a huge turn on, but hard porn, no, anything that smacks of a sexual partner being degraded or inflicting using pain is a turn off..
Erotic reading ,have always enjoyed, much more stimulating than visual porn, well for me anyway.
Role play weyyyyyyyyyyyyy heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..love it and adore acting out fantasies, not all,some should stay in your head..blushes...
Opposite sex.5/5.
Bi and proud, and not just to fulfil my sexual appetite, I enjoy men and women for different reasons but equaly if that makes sense, and it annoys me , when men feel the need to ask , "but bet you love cock more"??
Being gay is not a choice, you are born gay, if it was a choice , would many people would make it given the homophobia that still exists today?
I think that sexuality is fluid, and could be the reason why many Bi people are more open and relaxed with theirs.
Open relationships..3/5..
Never have been in the posistion yet wherby I had to share someone I cared intimately about, with others sexualy, I would imagine that as with any other couple who swing, I would have a level of trust, that would ensure we could both explore without damaging our relationship, or rather I hope that would be the case.
Affairs 0/5
Never have and will never indulge, there is a difference between seeking nsa sex and an affair, have had the oppurtunity and didn't , doesn't mean I judge others who do, I feel that if a relationship has reached that stage then get out, and get happy elsewhere.
S&M.3/5.
Intrigues me turns me on, some of it, but the heavy side no, can't imagine inflicting or having intense pain inflicted, light bondage, dommed but not too heavy yes, but whips are a nooooooooo nooooooooooooooo, bit of spanking I enjoy and giving as well..
Softer Sex.5/5
Now exploring and enjoying, knowing what turns you and a patrner on,what more could you ask for?
Using your imagination, listening to a partner, talking to them, touching them, asking what makes them tick? telling them what turns you on..the list is endless, but good sexual experiences come from mutual respect..
As a woman the wham bamm thank you mammmmmmm tecnique gets down right boring after a while,and I quickly lose interest..
Off course I enjoy one offs ,who doesn't? but sex is always a learning process,yes mistakes are made, but the knack is to learn from them and strive to make the next encounter much better..
Being selfish has or should have no place during sex,be it nsa, or a relationship, it should be giving and taking as equals..
Revived Relationship 3/5.
Win some lose some and gain some wit, relationships go bad for many reasons, doesn't just happen, imo the knack to better ones is learning that two people are at fault, laying blame with one person, can often lead to making mistakes again..
And in all honesty some of the wankers I dated..are well best left in the past,and they probably think likewise..
Great idea for a thread Mr D' perhaps you should consider moving it to the main forum??
Addiesx
Thanks for such an extensive reply, addie. Very interesting - and very informative too! I enjoyed reading it very much.
Perhaps this isn't the best thread for it, as you say. When I posted my bit the thread had had 180 views. If the number hasn't increased much in a few days time I may move it, or a copy of it, to "Anything Goes".
Heartiest Regards
Cool Hand
