no, but I did get when I was in WWF (Occupational hazard)
Do you ever make up outlandish, lame excuses?
So funny you should ask, I received the following outlandish, lame excuse only today. And yes, i guess I am a little impressed.
Well its a rather longwinded tale!!
I'll try be as brief as possible.
As I shaved and made myself presentable for you, i heard a strange rumbling outside. I ran outside to take a look and was confronted by what can only be described as a "terror from beyond the stars"
it turns out a flying saucer had crashed in my garden. As I watched strange beings disembarked from it clad in metallic silver spacesuits. I knew there intentions weren't friendly when one of them fired a ray gun at me.
Luckily I jumped out of the way but my gardenshed wasn't so lucky. RIP sheddy!! I quickly grabbed my trusty machine gun which I keep in the kitchen cabinet (doesn't everyone I hear you say!!!).
I returned fire but sadly my wellplaced shots seemed to have no impact, sensing the futility of my situation I retreated inside. I barricaded myself in the downstairs loo, grabbing bottles of water and some canned goods to prepAre myself for the siege ahead.
They banged in the door awhile with no apparent structural damage. I sighed with relief only for the door to disintegrate with a blinding flash.
The aliens bore down on me and I considered using my bullets on myself but before I could move, they shot with me a tranquilizer and I awoke later to find myself aboard their ship with them about to perform sexual experiments on me.
I was horrified until they removed their spacesuits to reveal 3 sexy female humanoid type lifeforms who then spent several hours probing me deeply.
I did some probing myself, didn't want them thinking human males were pushovers, and finally several hours later they seemed satisfied.
They released me back to my home and returned in their ship to the planet lesbos. Unfortunately by this time it was too late for me to get coffee with you
this actually happened and anyonewho tries to claim that I fell asleep and woke up late is a damn liar and part of the government coverup to discredit my story!!
Would you, if you were me, give this person another chance?
Hells yeah, he sounds like an awesome space hero
Who is the best looking guy on here and what is it about me that makes you think that?
What's yes or no about that? Anyway, it'd be rude not to answer and heaven forbid I ever came across as rude. ;). Guns, is undoubtedly the best looking guy on Swing and what about you (DB) makes me think that? em... contrast? :grin:
Did you vote for Guns to get naked in the swing factor poll?:happy:
no because it dont have any impact at all on me!
do you think we should vote for cloud to get her beautiful birthyday suit for the men and women that would like please vote... lmao
Emm let me think about that...... Why yes of course !!! :lick:
Have you ever had to leave a party because you didnt like something that happened at it?
yes when peeps started to snort drugs...
have you ever been tied up and pleasured over and over
No, but theres always a first time!!
Would you like to have sex on a pool table?
Yes.
have you ever played strip poker?
yes
have you had sex on the floor of your parents living room??
Yes should have waited til they left the room but how and ever
Which would win in a fight; a monkey trained in jiu jitsu or a squirrel with a dagger?
Yes
Would a monkey trained in jiu jitsu win a fight against a squirrel with a dagger?
YES, I think a money trained in jujutsu would be able to combat his armed squirrel opponent with relative ease. The jujutsu would train him in the art of effective grabbing which would in this case, be facilitated by the assumed precarious hold on the dagger by the squirrel due to the poor development of squirrels thumbs. However, if the squirrel manages to spank the monkey :wank:, who knows what the outcome may be...
Do you think then that the monkey would use the dagger given that jujutsu does not promote violence?
No
what the hell is a monkey going to do with a dagger??
That's highly implausible.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, will Liverpool qualify for the champions league this year?
and the yes / no question is.....
and I think he cheated me by putting in that question after I posted my comment (or did he?) am i going mad? Is this another side effect of my delusion? Argh!
Yes Eden you are going mad :grin:
Do you need time on the couch?
Yes please - I feel a potato moment coming on
Do u like 1 on 1's or 1 on mores ?
of course
have you teased your partner in a cinema??
oh yes :lick:
do you sing in the shower?
no def not the x factor!
have you caught someone watching porn??
yes LOL
have you ever sent a dirty text to the wrong person?
yes lol
do you like little supprises ??