what is swinging for you?

1 Dec 2008

I've been rattling the old brain today as ive time off for the next week as some of you may be aware of. And through all the crap I needed to sort out as well as the everyday monotony a topic came into my head that i thought I would start a thread on. I assume most of us here are so for the same reaons, we seek a little something different from the norm, (well when I say norm I mean as in what the majority of the population class as normal..not the chubby fuzzy haired guy from 'cheer's') but often I am interestedin why we do this? some i assume do it as adding something to ad to already firm and concrete relationships, other to add something to a relationship which they may feel is missing a certain something, where as others just simply highly sexed and seek new adventures. The thing i've wondered is after 6 months or so on here most will know if they wish to pursue this or not, the iniital 'settling in ' period has passed. Have you been sucessful in achieveing what you set out to achieve, is this lifestyle what you thought it would be? I've had great comedy moments flogging out the debate with my close freinds (who are aware I swing and cant quiet understand why) and after many debates I have being trying to come up with an all encompassing statement to put the debate to bed,( Pardon the Pun....)and in my browsing the net came across the following analogy which i think sums things up well. Random poster on youtube 'Being in the lifestyle is like riding a Harley... for those who know, no explanation is needed. For those who don't, no explanation is possible. Is it for everyone? Hell no! You have to have a stronger, more honest relationship than most other people or it becomes a blueprint for disaster. Luckily, most of those who aren't cut out for the lifestyle often figure out pretty quickly that some things a best left to the realm of fantasy.' I know you might be wondering what the feck this whole thread is about? well i just felt like saying what I had to say and respond if you like. (if you've ever had a conversation with me in person you'll understand) poke

Makemyday0126

1 Dec 2008

Excellent idea for a thread Make... Okay for me, being highly sexed and searching for new adventures was my main reason for getting into a swing lifestyle.. Plus up until recently it was a way to enjoy both without emotional ties.. Do I think I have achieved my quest , yes I feel I have, and more importantly I remained "ME".. Swing also has a fun side, well sex does, and I have embraced that with gusto!! Meeting so many people who shared the same lifestyle has opened a whole new world to me, I met people as young as 24 and as old as 60 during my swinging adventures.. lol.. I never stopped learning and sharing I guess, and loved every damn moment of it all!!

1 Dec 2008

ah make Ive had a few conversations with you and don't feel to bad hun i think i make about as much sense as you do :giggle: swinging for me .... jesus my definition changes by the day at this stage ,since joining Ive gone on a journey of self exploration i think .. anyone who knows me well knows Ive changed my views in the last few months , have always been liberal in my views ,( very easy to be when you are discussing someone else) I'm discovering new things about myself and stretching my boundaries more and having a hell of a good time doing it !! as Ive said to you recently have found myself in situations where Ive realised whats not for me or more importantly :giggle: what is .. as a single girl who ran a mile from cpls i never truly classed myself as a swinger but as you know my situation is different now so obviously my opinions have changed ..(for the better i think ) definition of swinging for me - I see it as an addition to an already good sex life , a freedom to have some diversity in a safe environment , something to enjoy and share with a partner , a whole lot of fun and a journey thats defo not over for me yet :giggle:

1 Dec 2008

Its a question that gets asked over and over, and yea very hard to put a difinite answer to it...for me swinging is more then just sex...its an opportunity to meet like minded ppl....there is nothing better then to be able to sit down and openly chat, and I mean openly, and not have to hide who or what you are....I tend box my life into different zones (its a needs must situation)...but swinging allows me to be truly the person I really am, and not have to hide what I am when among like minded friends....I dont like the boundries of "normal" relationships, in fact I would say Im a polyamorous person more then a swinger, and would happly live that life with the right ppl, but my situation dictacts I can't, these I impose on myself rather then coming from others....so therefore swinging is the next best option....I dont understand jealousy on any level...for me I dont believe the majority of us are designed to stay within a monogamous relationship, its just a condition of modern society, if ppl were to truly be in touch with their real inner self and allow for exploration there would be far more swingers and polyamorous....its really a mind set I think rather then wanting a bit on the side or a quick leg over...., as I say its very hard to define....but as a bi thought..lol... who's up for setting up a poly commune....lol...

2 Dec 2008

Thanks Buxy, thats very insightful, I think i am of the smae idea as yourself i.e polyamorous. Labels and 'box's' that we all get put into in life and conditioning to a certain extent does prevent a lot from discovering theyre true selfves, and like you said the thing i really enjoy about swinging is the confidence instilled in one to talk openly about sexuality with the same freedom you'd talk about everyday mundane stuff. I identify with the zoning out of different elements of your life. I think deep down we all have slight streak of jealousy in us, but I think its the way we handle that element of our personas is the key things, I am often asked does having stone cold sex with a stranger not get a bit boring(yes I was actually asked that way once)..to that I say well just because a person chooses to open and liberal with theyre view on sexuality when you are with someone, be it at a party or a one to one coupling, you do deep down form a bond with them, attraction itself is a trait we have in us all that was primarily developed to help us bond, I think its just we have the ability to seperate the further feelings from the chemical element( I am on about hormones now just in case yee think i mean otherwise) ya know them little endorphins etc that flow though our heads when we are enjoying something.