Is it my imagination or is the site dying a slow death.
This used to be a fantastic site. Filled with banter, interesting topics, and lively debate.
Moderators were quick to see abuse being done and even quicker to respond to help.
However this is changing, there are some bad eggs spoiling it for everyone else on here. Having joined another two irish sites which are free its suprising and alarming to find many members from here on those sites many also who are moderators or have been on the site. Also long time members are quite aware of the politics that has happened behind the scenes. Dont get me wrong on the whole have never had a real issue with any mods here. But its quite obvious that there is bickering and disruption whiten the ranks. We are not fools we know and we hear the evidence. But you know you wont get me to reveal my source no no use in asking guys. Then there are the members who get away with blue murder and maybe because of the fact that there pretty and cam draw a crowd of horny men to the chat room by showing there bits and bobs are free to do what they like whenever they like and also are left to openly ridicule and embarrass someone in open chat. I got this done to be by just making a joke abet it was a little homophobic but no more than a knock knock whos there gay gay who gaybo. but if anyone would have known me would have taken it as a joke and not a smear on anyone. Of course the member got angry with me and when i apologised to her made it a huge issue which was totally over the top on there part. And because we do know some mods one in particualar has mentioned that this was totally unjustified that I then be banned for a day because of it. So smack on the wrist.
IF YOU WANT A SITE LIKE THIS TO SURVIVE GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT OTHERWISE LIKE WHAT IS HAPPENING THEY WILL JUMP SHIP AND FAST.
I am sure that I will get some people here that will be up in arms with me but this is a forum and forums are ment to bring debate. All I ask is of the people who will not like my interpretation to not call me rude names or treat me with contempt. Let the DEBATE START. NOT THE NAME CALLING ,
Without this site I would not have met the gorgeous Dragon, nor would I have made fantastic friends and interesting people and funny loyal and caring as well. I have and hope to still enjoy the site only lets get it back to the way it was. A place that was fun, friendly, and cool to hang out in. Dont let it be ruined THAT IS ALL I THINK EVERYONE WANTS "DO YOU AGREE?"
Thank you , Kerrymale.
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what has happened to this great site?
I've been here longer than most of the wallpaper - but I cannot say that I've witnessed 'cliques' happening. I know a lot of folks who know other folks - and it's understandable that they chat amongst themselves. However, the accusation flying around lately, that they actively exclude others seems to be drawn on fairly soft evidence.
The mods have always done a stirling job - old and new - no matter who was involved in a situation I've seen. I'd trust them all if I needed back-up.
If someone has a problem with me - they're at liberty to write to me to discuss it. Head games and tittle-tattling doesn't even get allowed in school playgrounds these days!
Level playing fields all round, everyone enjoying their time here and finding some of what they came for - only way to go.
Quote by kerrydragon
1) Long time members are quite aware of the politics that has happened behind the scenes. But its quite obvious that there is bickering and disruption whiten the ranks.
2) Then there are the members who get away with blue murder and maybe because of the fact that there pretty and cam draw a crowd of horny men to the chat room by showing there bits and bobs are free to do what they like whenever they like and also are left to openly ridicule and embarrass someone in open chat.
3)Dont let it be ruined THAT IS ALL I THINK EVERYONE WANTS "DO YOU AGREE?"
Point 1: After speaking to a good friend on here tonight, Im changing my point of view and take back what I said in Point 1.
Point 2: After speaking to a good friend on here tonight, Im changing my point of view and take back what I said in Point 2.
Point 3: After speaking to a good friend on here tonight, Im changing my point of view and take back what I said in Point 3.
Theres way too much negativity around here at the moment, and I hold my hands up and admit that I have most probably added fuel to the fire. Why I have done so only I can say, but I wont say cos its my business, and my business alone. If I have offended anyone by being so forward in what I wrote earlier in his thread then I apologise.
Sometimes I just let rip, and say what I feel without considering anyone else's feelings. Yes I can be inconsiderate at times, but at the same time, I am not what some others here have labelled me as being. I am not arrogant to anyone, except maybe to Gardai, Forest/Wildlife Rangers and Catholic Priests, but thats a different matter entirely.
Anyone that has ever entered our home can say that we have always made our guests feel at home, and have tried our best to make them feel as welcome and important to us as possible and that we would do anything to make their stay at ours as enjoyable as is humanly possible. So when some people that dont really know us tell others not to meet us, that we are arrogant, and that we are scum as some have stated, well that just gets my back up and I suppose I close ranks and let my fingers respond with the keyboard.
So with that being said Im now going back into "Happy Col" mode, its so much better than being pissed off and angry at things I cannot change. Its time to accept what is what and move on.
This site is fantastic. Yes it has its bad points, but what social website doesnt? We all need to learn to take the good with the bad and make the best out of what we have. Only then will we be truly happy.
Wow, these forums are so much cheaper than a counselling session (Approx By the way I know the price only because my wife is a counsellor herself, not because I need therapy, although some may disagree
). I may just start up a weekly blog here in the forums (In "Happy Col" Mode of course) just to keep the positivity alive. Its either that or just clusterfuck every negative thread on here with positvity from tonight onwards 
To the friend I spoke with tonight, thank you very much for being so honest with me. You really are a true friend, and one that I hold close to my heart. You know who you are :rose:
Kerrymale, I have to say that I'm still finding the site to be a fun filled place and for me it is still very much alive. I'm still very much enjoying the laughs and banter in chat and at meet and greets, and am still very much enjoying meeting the wonderful members on an ongoing basis.
On the jumping ship issue, I think it's only natural that if there is another site that is free, that people will join to hedge their bets. I, as a paying member on this site, while I think I get great value for money, cannot help but wish I had joined before the charge was introduced.
I continue to find the mods a very helpful bunch and they continue to have my complete support and gratitude for the selfless, thankless fantastic job they do. I am delighted to see new mods appointed, not because I have any issue with the old mods, indeed they did a fine job, but just as in any organisation, I think a mixture of experience and new ideas is healthy. It is why there are terms of office for any board of directors/governments etc. I am unaware of any bickering within the ranks and am sceptical that this is the case.
I am sorry to hear that you were banned for a day for making a joke. I have never been banned so am not going to say I know how you feel, and I'm sure it isn't nice. But just to play devils advocate, you say anyone who knows you would know that it was a joke, unfortunately there are thousands of members so very few are actually going to know you. Also, as this site is aimed at being safe environment for people of all sexual persuasions/tastes etc. however unusual, maybe a joke that could have been perceived as homophobic wasn't the most suitable?
Kerrymale, I have accepted your invitation to debate and the only name I could ever call you is a gentleman. And I'm sorry to disagree with you hun, when you're feeling a bit down. What I will agree with is that the forums used to be a place that was fun, friendly, and cool to hang out in and no longer are as much. But then hun, may I respectfully suggest that posts such as these are contributing to that? I would love to see more debates like the olden days that didn't degenerate into mod bashing or taking swipes at fellow members. I'd be delighted to join with you in trying to reform the forums to try make them a shinier, happier, more inviting place that focused on the positive. Big hug XO.
On the jumping ship issue, I think it's only natural that if there is another site that is free, that people will join to hedge their bets. I, as a paying member on this site, while I think I get great value for money, cannot help but wish I had joined before the charge was introduced.
I continue to find the mods a very helpful bunch and they continue to have my complete support and gratitude for the selfless, thankless fantastic job they do. I am delighted to see new mods appointed, not because I have any issue with the old mods, indeed they did a fine job, but just as in any organisation, I think a mixture of experience and new ideas is healthy. It is why there are terms of office for any board of directors/governments etc. I am unaware of any bickering within the ranks and am sceptical that this is the case.
I am sorry to hear that you were banned for a day for making a joke. I have never been banned so am not going to say I know how you feel, and I'm sure it isn't nice. But just to play devils advocate, you say anyone who knows you would know that it was a joke, unfortunately there are thousands of members so very few are actually going to know you. Also, as this site is aimed at being safe environment for people of all sexual persuasions/tastes etc. however unusual, maybe a joke that could have been perceived as homophobic wasn't the most suitable?
Kerrymale, I have accepted your invitation to debate and the only name I could ever call you is a gentleman. And I'm sorry to disagree with you hun, when you're feeling a bit down. What I will agree with is that the forums used to be a place that was fun, friendly, and cool to hang out in and no longer are as much. But then hun, may I respectfully suggest that posts such as these are contributing to that? I would love to see more debates like the olden days that didn't degenerate into mod bashing or taking swipes at fellow members. I'd be delighted to join with you in trying to reform the forums to try make them a shinier, happier, more inviting place that focused on the positive. Big hug XO.
Our reply probably doesn't contribute much, but want to take an opportunity to say just how much we're actually enjoying the site. We're very new to the scene (joining the SN free site in Feb, and here in March).
Have only been in the chatrooms a few times over the past couple of weeks but must say we've noticed nothing untoward or unwelcome, quite the opposite if anything..just friendly banter and a welcoming atmosphere. We're not around long enough to be drawn into any clique, but would be worried that regular chat or banter with those we've met or get on with online would be viewed as such. It would be a shame if people couldn't chat freely without such worries...bit of a double-edged sword isn't it?
With organising and attending parties already, and networking hard online, we do of course hear snippets of some of the internal politics at work, but want no part of it. We were a little surprised that such nonsense went on in the swinging community, hoping that this was one area of life (where people are, in our limited experience, much more open, honest and caring about others) but we're all human i suppose, and prone to errors of judgement, misinterpretation in the written/typed word etc etc. We experience enough of that in various work/social scenes in life already - we want this lifestyle to be an exciting escape from the usual banalities of 'normal life' 
We'll certainly not be swayed by 2nd or 3rd hand opinions of people - that's dangerous. We'll make our minds up based on personal experience only. I (Josh) am an admin on an unrelated (and very busy) forum in relation to a work interest, which has a large moderator team, and can empathise with any moderator here. It is often a thankless task; do it right and no-one notices, but any slight human error in judgement and a storm brews quickly on the horizon. Clearing those dark clouds is often difficult or impossible without clear heads, compromising and understanding on the part of all involved. Everyone has a different 'line in the sand', differing sensibilities, egos and sensitivies...and things can sometimes get a little out of control. 
I've always found that the rumour mill is best silenced by the mod/admin team being as open and honest about a situation as possible before taking any action. It doesn't take long for something which appears trivial to an unbiased observer to become a hot topic of debate (usually only making said situation worse).
Anyway, i'm rambling here to the point of going cross-eyed 
so i'll just shut up now and continue about my day :lips:
Love to you all 
We'll certainly not be swayed by 2nd or 3rd hand opinions of people - that's dangerous. We'll make our minds up based on personal experience only. I (Josh) am an admin on an unrelated (and very busy) forum in relation to a work interest, which has a large moderator team, and can empathise with any moderator here. It is often a thankless task; do it right and no-one notices, but any slight human error in judgement and a storm brews quickly on the horizon. Clearing those dark clouds is often difficult or impossible without clear heads, compromising and understanding on the part of all involved. Everyone has a different 'line in the sand', differing sensibilities, egos and sensitivies...and things can sometimes get a little out of control.
I've always found that the rumour mill is best silenced by the mod/admin team being as open and honest about a situation as possible before taking any action. It doesn't take long for something which appears trivial to an unbiased observer to become a hot topic of debate (usually only making said situation worse).
Anyway, i'm rambling here to the point of going cross-eyed so i'll just shut up now and continue about my day :lips:
Love to you all I hope the site ain't going the way you suggest it might be Kerrymale.
We have just come back on after a 6 month absence so we need a little time to
see what the situation is.
We have only been in the chat-rooms twice and only for a few minutes. Other than
being busier than it used to be, we have not had any problems yet, but to soon to give a real opinion.
We never had any run-in's with the mods. Always thought they did a good job, hope it's still the same.
I hope nobody has a go a you for raising this debate, you are giving your own thoughts on a subject that should interest all serious and decent members.
All the best,
meandthewife.
PS..best wishes to dragon..a true lady.
I don't normally reply to threads like this, but feel having read all the posts that I should comment on some of the 'issues' raised.
Firstly, I have always found, and continue to find the site great fun, and enjoy the banter in the chatrooms, and also in the forums.
It is inevitable in a situation such as this, that site members will form good relationships with others, having chatted on site, and in many cases met up at parties and meet and greets. At times this may be perceived as 'cliques' to members who are not part of the inner circle, however, this is no different than real life - if you went out to the pub and met people you know, you'd have a bit of craic and enjoy their company, whereas you'd be unlikely to engage in conversation with those you don't know. To be honest I don't know that the word 'clique' is therefore used fairly, rather it's a chat between friends with common views and interests.
Any member of this site is fully entitled to be a member of other sites, and in fact a number of the members here were members of other sites before joining swing4ireland. Should being a moderator on this site mean that you can't be involved in other sites if you so choose? Absolutely not.
It surprises me Kerry that you have commented on knowing what goes on behind the scenes. Mods on this site are not permitted to discuss anything about what happens, and as such I can only but assume that you are saying that information has been divulged when it shouldn't have been.
No one is asking you to reveal your sources, however it is worth pointing out at this point that as the saying goes 'there is 2 sides to every story, and then there's the truth'. If comments have been made, it important to remember that you hear that persons side of the story, and as such you should not assume that this is the whole story, as more often than not there is more to it.
I can honestly say that I have never witnessed anyone act outside the aup and done nothing about it. That said, when mods are in chat, they are often dealing with issues behind the scenes, so I guess it's possible that a mod would be in the chatroom but not necessarily notice every little thing that happens. It is up to the members to bring anything they find unacceptable to the mods attention so we can act on it.
You said Kerry about a joke you made in chat, and whilst we will all say things from time to time in the company of friends, it is important to remember as Eden said, that there will be many others there who don't know you, or your sense of humour, and may therefore consider jokes of this nature offensive.
You mentioned giving the members what they want if the site wants to keep people happy. The problem with that is that some people want to be offensive and hurtful to others, some people find no issue in saying what they want to whoever they want, and some people choose to form opinions based on knowing half the facts. I would hazzard a guess that the majority of members don't want that, and by having a moderated site, we hope that issues are nipped in the bud and dealt with appropriately.
Personnel changes are made on site, as in real life, and whilst everyone may not agree with the decision, it again comes back to not knowing all the facts. Admin are in possession of the facts when these decisions are made, and do not make these decisions lightly.
I could safely say that any decision I make is based purely on the situation, and not who is involved in it. If someone breaks the rules, I will treat them exactly the same, whether they are a friend or a member I don't know.
Josh,the fact you are a new member has no bearing on your entitlement to contribute, in fact, I'd like to thank you for speaking out, and putting forward a well thought out response.
This post is my opinion, and no one elses, and in the spirit of openess, I am contibuting to the 'debate'.
Having differing opinions is what makes life more interesting, there is no right or wrong answer, however I think we need to leave the negativity behind. We all have things going on in our personal lives, and many members come on here for a little light relief. Let's make this a fun, welcoming and enjoyable place for all.
Happy swinging!!
I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for there opinions and thoughts. You have don't exactly what I hoped you would and that is debate. If we are to have a site which we can relax , enjoy and meet people we need to be able to agree and disagree with everyone views. The forum is the perfect place for us to discuss. I guess I sad to see Bongo go , I think everyone will agree what a lovely man he is and what a fantastic mod he really was .
I would like to say to him if he reads this that BONGO YOU WILL BE SADLY MISSED. This site means alot to me and to Dragon and we I guess want it to come back to its former glory.
I dont want anyone to think I am mod bashing , One newly appointed Mod is a good friend of ours and I am convinced that if I or Dragon were to act out of line we would be dealt with the same as anyone else. I would also probably get my ass kicked by this mod as well lol. I would not want it any other way. I am only asking that fairness be shown is all.
Anyways a BIG BIG THANK YOU TO ALL WHO REPLIED and Eden thank you for calling me a Gentleman it was lovely to hear that from you and you are a lady as well.
*******************************************************************************************************************************Thanks again guys**************************************************
Quote by alicolwic
1) Long time members are quite aware of the politics that has happened behind the scenes. But its quite obvious that there is bickering and disruption whiten the ranks.
2) Then there are the members who get away with blue murder and maybe because of the fact that there pretty and cam draw a crowd of horny men to the chat room by showing there bits and bobs are free to do what they like whenever they like and also are left to openly ridicule and embarrass someone in open chat.
3)Dont let it be ruined THAT IS ALL I THINK EVERYONE WANTS "DO YOU AGREE?"
Point 1: After speaking to a good friend on here tonight, Im changing my point of view and take back what I said in Point 1.
Point 2: After speaking to a good friend on here tonight, Im changing my point of view and take back what I said in Point 2.
Point 3: After speaking to a good friend on here tonight, Im changing my point of view and take back what I said in Point 3.
Theres way too much negativity around here at the moment, and I hold my hands up and admit that I have most probably added fuel to the fire. Why I have done so only I can say, but I wont say cos its my business, and my business alone. If I have offended anyone by being so forward in what I wrote earlier in his thread then I apologise.
Sometimes I just let rip, and say what I feel without considering anyone else's feelings. Yes I can be inconsiderate at times, but at the same time, I am not what some others here have labelled me as being. I am not arrogant to anyone, except maybe to Gardai, Forest/Wildlife Rangers and Catholic Priests, but thats a different matter entirely.
Anyone that has ever entered our home can say that we have always made our guests feel at home, and have tried our best to make them feel as welcome and important to us as possible and that we would do anything to make their stay at ours as enjoyable as is humanly possible. So when some people that dont really know us tell others not to meet us, that we are arrogant, and that we are scum as some have stated, well that just gets my back up and I suppose I close ranks and let my fingers respond with the keyboard.
So with that being said Im now going back into "Happy Col" mode, its so much better than being pissed off and angry at things I cannot change. Its time to accept what is what and move on.
This site is fantastic. Yes it has its bad points, but what social website doesnt? We all need to learn to take the good with the bad and make the best out of what we have. Only then will we be truly happy.
Wow, these forums are so much cheaper than a counselling session (Approx By the way I know the price only because my wife is a counsellor herself, not because I need therapy, although some may disagree
). I may just start up a weekly blog here in the forums (In "Happy Col" Mode of course) just to keep the positivity alive. Its either that or just clusterfuck every negative thread on here with positvity from tonight onwards To the friend I spoke with tonight, thank you very much for being so honest with me. You really are a true friend, and one that I hold close to my heart. You know who you are :rose:
Quote by kerrydragon
Is it my imagination or is the site dying a slow death.
This used to be a fantastic site. Filled with banter, interesting topics, and lively debate.
Moderators were quick to see abuse being done and even quicker to respond to help.
However this is changing, there are some bad eggs spoiling it for everyone else on here. Having joined another two irish sites which are free its suprising and alarming to find many members from here on those sites many also who are moderators or have been on the site. Also long time members are quite aware of the politics that has happened behind the scenes. Dont get me wrong on the whole have never had a real issue with any mods here. But its quite obvious that there is bickering and disruption whiten the ranks. We are not fools we know and we hear the evidence. But you know you wont get me to reveal my source no no use in asking guys. Then there are the members who get away with blue murder and maybe because of the fact that there pretty and cam draw a crowd of horny men to the chat room by showing there bits and bobs are free to do what they like whenever they like and also are left to openly ridicule and embarrass someone in open chat. I got this done to be by just making a joke abet it was a little homophobic but no more than a knock knock whos there gay gay who gaybo. but if anyone would have known me would have taken it as a joke and not a smear on anyone. Of course the member got angry with me and when i apologised to her made it a huge issue which was totally over the top on there part. And because we do know some mods one in particualar has mentioned that this was totally unjustified that I then be banned for a day because of it. So smack on the wrist.
IF YOU WANT A SITE LIKE THIS TO SURVIVE GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT OTHERWISE LIKE WHAT IS HAPPENING THEY WILL JUMP SHIP AND FAST.
I am sure that I will get some people here that will be up in arms with me but this is a forum and forums are ment to bring debate. All I ask is of the people who will not like my interpretation to not call me rude names or treat me with contempt. Let the DEBATE START. NOT THE NAME CALLING ,
Without this site I would not have met the gorgeous Dragon, nor would I have made fantastic friends and interesting people and funny loyal and caring as well. I have and hope to still enjoy the site only lets get it back to the way it was. A place that was fun, friendly, and cool to hang out in. Dont let it be ruined THAT IS ALL I THINK EVERYONE WANTS "DO YOU AGREE?"
Thank you , Kerrymale.
Have to agree completely with all the above.... I myself have seen in the chat room one person break the rules only for it to be ignored and in the next few minutes someone else also broke the rules and they were booted so it does seem as if the rules are not applied to everyone but these things do happen I guess.
what i would like to ask is peoples like about the site
my likes , great friends made
good fun in chat,
sexy people , dirty people , funny people, good decent banter, respect for every member, and happy greetings when you enter chat.
we love this site and just have little gripes about some people who go above there stations and put down people. for the ones who this applies to just think a little and show respect is all I ever really wanted. oh and give some of the single guys and girls a break god love them except the addicted whisperers of course lol.
Thanks for all the replies guys and rember this is not a mod or site bashing thread more a let make things better for everyone thread.
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