:doggy::doggy::doggy::doggy::doggy::doggy::doggy::doggy::doggy::doggy::doggy:
The 1st kind of sex is called ... Smurf Sex.
This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called ... Kitchen Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called ... Bedroom Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called ... Hallway Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for too long.
When you pass each other in the hallway you both say ..
'F**k You.'
The 5th kind of sex is called ... Religious Sex.
Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)
The 6th kind is called ... Courtroom Sex.
This is when you cannot stand your wife/husband any more.
She/he takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.
And Last ... But Not Least ...
The 7th kind of sex is called ... State Pension Sex.
You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy your self.
now im sure some of you have experienced a few of these..
:evil2:
0. Virginal Sex Unfortunately this has never lasted long enough for anyone to describe the characteristics. 8. Pissed Sex This is where a man, despite being unable to talk, believes he can still fuck, neither party can focus long enough to care what the other one looks like and the woman turns away on her side believing it to be the best fuck she's ever had - before it's finished.
Just adding to the above post pissed sex A form of sex that we have all experiencied at one time or another, when he thinks he is unstopable and in most cases incapable of actually cumming never mind getting her to aroused or even to cum either. When he slobbers in her ear "is that nice" and she replies saying with a smile on her pissed out of focus face, "i have never has sex like this before", he then asks her did she cum and she replies of course 3 times, him never even noticing that she had fallen asleep during this delightful romp and only the sound of him farting woke her up. Thats pissed sex :beer:
My personal fave is WTFJHT sex.... you know the type you have such a rush from the whole experience you both lie back on the bed beside each other grinning at each other like idiots unable to speak and the only thought going through your head is 'What The Fuck Just Happened There':thrilled:
Quote by user=Titan79 My personal fave is WTFJHT sex.... you know the type you have such a rush from the whole experience you both lie back on the bed beside each other grinning at each other like idiots unable to speak and the only thought going through your head is 'What The Fuck Just Happened There':thrilled:
7 different kinds of sex ... one for everyday of the week ... but in ireland are you allowed sex on sundays ... or can you double upon saturdays ... so as not to sin on the sabbath
Quote by user=alan-ball 7 different kinds of sex ... one for everyday of the week ... but in ireland are you allowed sex on sundays ... or can you double upon saturdays ... so as not to sin on the sabbath
...well Alan, if thats the case I blew the sabbath to pieces yesterday :devil:
Quote by user=muldernTcell Offallycouple I want to Believe it is but that fecker with the fag keeps running off with it. :taz:
Feck that fecker with the fags Muldern, I am off to dye my hair red, and find a sexy suit, meet me by the Mothership, we are off to find the truth, oh and don't forget the Yummy MrsMuldern:lick:
Should I bring my probe or are they provided and the lovely mrs m will be on hand as always. Might need her oral skills to communicate with the aliens. PS send map to mothership my sat nav is banjoeed.
:taz:
PS on the Scully look, also wear glasses works for me everytime. Will also cause Alien probes to explode uncontrolably, so my informant tells me.
Holding something alright doesnt look like a ship tho more submarine shaped. Dont worry about lips cum as you are. have an xxx file for you to get your feet ( maybe a little higher) wet with. Start you off slowly then build up to something more substantial. Will have to handle you carefully as dont want you going down without proper direction.
:taz:
No Alan just a skin suit lol. PS Periscope is always semi up. Keeping an eye out for Able Seamen going to send to Dora for a short arm inspection seeing as she is now the head nurse. Anyway didnt this start out as seven different kinds of sex thread seems we lost track.
All I want to say is as long as the people involved in the sex are lying there afterwards thinking "Fuck that was Good and when can we do it again" then all is well with world .
:taz:
often though that myself muldren....when can we do that again !!
you can look at wtfjht in 2 ways was it good or i just want to get out of here .....xxxx
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and the only thought going through your head is 'What The Fuck Just Happened There':thrilled:
