There is a common misconception that swinging is a 24/7 orgy as it's portrayed in the media and porn. Do stereotypes exist within the swinging culture within Ireland and to what extent do we hold stereptypes within the smaller context, the site....
(i) single males...a nuisance?
(ii) single women...promiscuous?
(iii) couples....not in love, bored, unhappy marraige?
A sociologist, Bergstrand (2000) compared surveys of a population of swingers and a the general population and found the following about a number of stereotypes:
Stereotype: Swingers must not be happy in their marriage.
Truth: 79% of swingers described their relationship with their spouse as "very happy" compared to 64% of respondents in general population.
Stereotype: Swingers must be bored with their life.
Truth: 59% of swingers rated their life as "very happy" compared to 32% of the general population. 76% of swingers rate their life as "exciting" as compared to 46% of the general population (which 54% of listed their life as "dull").
Stereotype: Swingers don't put much importance in marriage.
Truth: 57% of swingers say that being married is "most" or "very" important in relationship to all other things in their life compared to 51% of the general population. Also, 78% of swingers said they get "very great" or a "great" deal of satisfaction from their family compared to 75% of the general population.
Stereotype: Swingers are amoral people.
Truth: Swingers are more likely to be a member of a church, synagogue, or mosque with 72% saying they are compared to 61% of the general population.
Bergstrand (2000) noted that for many swingers, swinging is more than just anonymous sex with strangers, mixing socially with like-minded people also constitutes an important part of their social and emotional lives.
My own opinion is that I have met some of the most well balanced people within the swinging context and they appear to have very healthy and lasting relationships, perphaps more than I have seen outside of the swinging context.
Love? Relationships arent based on sex alone. If relationships were just based on good sex then most of everyone that has had more than one lover in their life would be with one of their ex's rather than with their current partner or spouse. It doesnt mean that you are bored with one another and need to swap partners, it means you may be open enough to fulfill one anothers sexual fantasies set aside from your own relationship. Sex and love are not the same thing. Swingers may just able to emotionally distinguish between real love and lust.
Okay I voted yes single males are entitled to a place within swinging, just as single females, couples, straights, gays, trans and bi-sexuals, young , old , male and female have...
The concept of swinging is changing and evolving all the time, and rightly so, to cater for all our sexual needs and tastes.
As for how an element in society still percieves swinging to be amoral, well I no longer care to be honest, I am relaxed with my own sexuality, and accept others so if society feels the need to judge that is someone elses problem not mine..
Labels imo are for tins and clothes...
And as for women who swing being wrongly percieved as tarts ect..well whoever thinks that must have a small brain.
:clap:
thanks offally
:beer: refreshing points u made...im jst tryin to strike a debate to figure out a few things in my head, personally i dont believe these stereotypes are right, but i merely want to discover wat people feel about the existence of said
great thread donna:clap: i would agree with all the points made..i would of course think single men have a place in the swing world... although we have placed no single males in our advert it does noy mean we would not go down that road at the moment we are enjoying couples....And we have a very stable and loving relashionship and we both feel swinging has enhanched the sexual side of things dipped our toes into the swinging world about 9 years ago and while it was a fab experience physically I(mrs)was not ready emotionally..I have grown in confidence and matured to realise that the swinging scene is not as some people think a way of partners having their cake and eating it!! So long as we are consenting adults and no one is hurt i say f**k the ignorant folks and they dont know what they missing....;)Sxx
The separation of love n lust is the main point here - communication and trust within the primary relationship is the most important thing.
As a 'single male' who is 'technically' still married, although separated, do I have a place in the swing world?, of course I do. However, it takes time to get to know people within a 'lifestyle' context.
The Internet has given us the tool/continuation of what many other cultures, Inuit tribes of Alaska, US military returning from Germany (WWII) long ago initiated.
I first experienced swinging in England over ten years ago and would recommend the MeetnGreet's as a great starting point.
communication communication communication
think I'm starting to go off track here donna
great thread Deliousshabba
love that you have based used academic researh to outline the streeotypes .... I would have to agre with you "Sex and love are not the same thing. Swingers may just able to emotionally distinguish between real love and lust"
The person you want to go home to ...share you inner most thoughts with ... the person you would share the last rolo with ... that is the one you love
Single Guys,
I whilst am not single,, lead a solitary lifestyle at the moment,, there are a few genuine single guys out there,,, infact the site is highly populated with them. As the site grows and new members join you will get the newbies,,, eager to chat, eager too impress, that persay have not taken time to read the AUP rules, but over time and in particular in the chat rooms they will get their wings clipped and enjoy what the rest of us do, make friends, outside of the site. On-site enjoy the banter and realise the site is not a KNOCKING SHOP.
We where all newbies once, me included, thankfully I had a great bunch of people that took me under their wing (they know who they are)
There will be some members that just don't get it. Male and Female but look, is that not a factor in our lives, no matter what?
My thoughts.
Padds
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