Just in time for the party season, Miss Dora and Miss Virgin have been sacked from BT, we are branching out on our own.......
Need advice on clothes, hair, make-up?
Post your problems here and we shall be happy to help, Miss Dora has gone to gay Paris to source the latest on fashion for the season and beyond..
But she will be back in time to help.......
No problem too small......size zero's welcome....
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Slap-Assistants...
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Dear Miss Dora and Miss Virgin,
As it is close all those xmas partys, should you wax or shave our lady area? And what is the best way to avoid that dreaded rash one can get from doing either? There is nothing worse than getting that itch on the dance floor hen one`s boss is watching and as much as you want to tear off your knickers and scratch you dont want the boss thinking you have a case of crabs.
Dear Raven...
1 medium sized church candle, 1 large mug of tee-tree oil and a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Heat the candle to melting and add the oil, spread liberaly over the fuzz and leave to set for 45 mins an hour if hair is very thick ( shame on you if this is the case, you should defuzz every day! )...
When mixture has hardened peel off swiftly, do not pussy foot about, clean swipe!
Now if you have been silly enough to go over our recommended time, then prise a small area of wax open, and pour in the Jack Daniels.
We suggest that you also take a rather large drink before doing so...
A perfect festive de-fuzzing ..........
As a side note, why does your Boss check his staff for crabs?
Miss Dora and Miss Virgin...
Master of Sex
alan thanks for the laugh you put a smile on my face a big grin lol love it
Dear Happylouth....
Miss Dora and I have a batch of the latest fashion must have in the lower half department, suitable not only for females but males...
Now they do take a little bit of getting used to, and you may experience slight numbness in the nether regions for a few days, but knock a few Jacks into you, and just get on with it..
A perfect festive solution..
Miss Dora and Miss Virgin..
Miss Dora and I have a batch of the latest fashion must have in the lower half department, suitable not only for females but males...
Now they do take a little bit of getting used to, and you may experience slight numbness in the nether regions for a few days, but knock a few Jacks into you, and just get on with it..
A perfect festive solution..
Miss Dora and Miss Virgin..
Sex God
Quote by user=alan-ball
how about this one...a little straighter & transparent...so you can view the babana
That banana straightener is a bit too Phallic looking for my Liking, and the ribbed bit in the middle makes me think did a woman design it, with other purposes in mind?.....................Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I came into this thread in a bit of a panic thinking someone was looking to start a 'happy slapping' Group or similar, the thread title is bemusing.
Sex God
Dear Fashionistas( that is the right word aint it??) I have today been dealt the qwandry of dressing up for a little soirée a lady wants me to attend, the thing is I never been one for the monkey suit, I wear a 'work noose' everyday in My job so I prefer the more casual look when I socialize, any tips for a muck savage that thinks Gucci is a terminal illness.
Dear Titan....
Ah we had great fun choosing you some suitable attire, perfect for a night out with a hot lady, and guaranteed to have her drooling at the sight of you..*sniggers*...
Given that you are used to wearing a tie and suit for work, we decided that you should ditch the more formal look, and go for our dress up, dress down festive formal wear..
We do have some very shiny yellow pants in stock, please feel free to order at no extra cost...
Miss dora and Miss Virgin..
Ah we had great fun choosing you some suitable attire, perfect for a night out with a hot lady, and guaranteed to have her drooling at the sight of you..*sniggers*...
Given that you are used to wearing a tie and suit for work, we decided that you should ditch the more formal look, and go for our dress up, dress down festive formal wear..
We do have some very shiny yellow pants in stock, please feel free to order at no extra cost...
Miss dora and Miss Virgin..
Dear Virgogirl I had asked you not to my private pics on display as it leads to my wife laughing her head off. which makes life very difficult for me as I have to glue it back on and blow her up again. I can see that my repeated exhortations to desist have failed and it appears i will have to take u in hand and administer a suitable punishment.
Quote by user=Virgogirl
Dear Alan-Ball..
Throw away the spanax dear, our latest range for sucking and pulling in is the all in-one body suit..
See how it is cut high at the leg for extra comfort?
Tights are optional by the way!
Miss Dora and Miss Virgo..
well if Mr Muldern has one thats enough recommendation for me 2 take the Doctors advice & stay off the sweets.
You might also want to recommend a good puncture kit to Mr w
Quote by user=muldernTcell
Dear Virgogirl I had asked you not to my private pics on display as it leads to my wife laughing her head off. which makes life very difficult for me as I have to glue it back on and blow her up again. I can see that my repeated exhortations to desist have failed and it appears i will have to take u in hand and administer a suitable punishment.
Stop pulling your beautiful wife's head off Mister!!!!!!!
We did not publish the pic she sent us, we passed it around the office!
But perhaps you should be taught a lesson....
Casanova
Dear Miss Dora and Miss Virgin,
I am all too aware that i do carry a little more padding than i should, however have you any suggestions to futher enhance my sex appeal and have people wanting to know more of me?
Dar4u xx
Dear Dar4...
Well Dora and I don't think we can improve on your wonderful image further, but we suggest you concentrate on your mode of transport, to wow the objects of your desires..
A cool 5 grand will purchase this little number
Not that overly expensive, when you think of the crowds it will gather..
As for extra packing stop worrying hun, we all have it, well except for Miss Dora ( skinny biatch , someone needs to tell her size zero is soooo 2008 )so chin up and get motoring, you will be driving Miss Dora in no time..
Miss Dora and Miss Virgin.
Well Dora and I don't think we can improve on your wonderful image further, but we suggest you concentrate on your mode of transport, to wow the objects of your desires..
A cool 5 grand will purchase this little number
Not that overly expensive, when you think of the crowds it will gather..
As for extra packing stop worrying hun, we all have it, well except for Miss Dora ( skinny biatch , someone needs to tell her size zero is soooo 2008 )so chin up and get motoring, you will be driving Miss Dora in no time..
Miss Dora and Miss Virgin.
Casanova
Quote by user=Virgogirl
Dear Dar4...
Well Dora and I don't think we can improve on your wonderful image further, but we suggest you concentrate on your mode of transport, to wow the objects of your desires..
A cool 5 grand will purchase this little number
Not that overly expensive, when you think of the crowds it will gather..
As for extra packing stop worrying hun, we all have it, well except for Miss Dora ( skinny biatch , someone needs to tell her size zero is soooo 2008 )so chin up and get motoring, you will be driving Miss Dora in no time..
Miss Dora and Miss Virgin.
I will be driving both of ye ladies
and there be lots of :lick::moon::doggy:
hwoar: Dear Happy,
At this festive time of the year you want to be spending time with your select guests, not flapping around a kitchen...
We suggest going with finger food, just pop on a table and let thet merry lot help themselves..
1 Pack of SaltnVinegar.
1 Pack of Cheesen Oinon.
1 Pack of Roast Chicken..
Enjoy the party..
Miss Doar and Miss Virgin..
Sex God
Quote by user=Virgogirl
Dear Titan....
Ah we had great fun choosing you some suitable attire, perfect for a night out with a hot lady, and guaranteed to have her drooling at the sight of you..*sniggers*...
Given that you are used to wearing a tie and suit for work, we decided that you should ditch the more formal look, and go for our dress up, dress down festive formal wear..
We do have some very shiny yellow pants in stock, please feel free to order at no extra cost...
Miss dora and Miss Virgin..
...Looks like me long lost uncle three times removed then replaced, uncle 'titantico' I have a bit of Spanish in me(all true Galwegians have), or could be my Greek uncle too by the look of that 'Tache'
uncle 'Titanopolopolis'
( I know its a mouthful):lick:
