There had been an earlier thread on party etiquette, noticeably missing from the reply on etiquette was -
1-if invited to a party RSVP the host.
Parties do not organise themselves, their is a lot of time, personal effort and stress involved in organising one.
2- if having agreed to go to a party, let the host know as soon possible if for any reason you wiil not be able to attend.
3- on the day of the party again confrim if you will be attending, numbers do need to be finalised, especially where rooms are being booked.
4- if you change your mind about attending the party, just say so, "the dog ate my homework" type excuses are not really acceptable, be honest.
5- do not text you are on your way and not turn up.
just because it is a swing party does not mean the hosts should not be shown the same respect you would show a friend or family member organising a party or celebration.
The above would equally apply to 1 on 1 meets also, many people go to alot of bother to go to a meet (travel long distances, organise child-minders, time foo from work)...a "no show" without notification is bad manners. Understandably for a variety of reason people cannot turn up, but it only take a little time to send the text to apologies for your non attendence.
Manners, respect and honesty are as valued here as in society ... you may only get 1 chance at a meeting or a party invite ... without a good reason for yor non-attendence there may be no 2nd chance.
Treat others as you would expect to be treated
yes , a good post alan :-) and might just throw in this addy here too, lots of questions answered on it
http://www.swing4ireland.com/guide-to-swinging.html
Oh for Gods sake Slightly, Take me in hand and give me personal tuition as I might cum to like your teaching guide to sucessful swinging has a much better ring to it. PS can I ring your bell. :taz:
Thank you Alan as a host who has held parties it is nice for people to the let the host to know in adavance that they cant come so that they can ask others to the party as there is a lot of people who would like to go but due to numbers you cant invite all to the parties so it would give other people on site a chance to go thanks again ALAN XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX BONNYCLYDE THOMASBIGLAD DUBSCPLMG
perhaps admin might combine this thread & Slightly's link to provide a useful sticky of perhaps 10 top tips... perhaps entitled ... Swing Meets Etiquette.
I am constantly amazed that some people think it is ok to arrange a meet, for coffee , drinks or more and then not show up, or call to cancel ... this is not acceptable behaviour in day to day life or business, so why should it be acceptable in S41.
Yeah... my bi girlfriends and I have encountered a number of guys on the site who made arrangements but fail to turn up. It's very annoying and a total waste of time as our time is precious.
About excuses.... I remembered a hot single guy that I know, and invited to one of my smaller intimate parties last year (5 /6 people). He was all up for it, ringing and texting me every day wanting to know, who's going, if it is still on... etc. Keep texting me til 3pm the day of the party, then... nothing... Didn't turn up. Tried to ring & text him... no response. A few days later he told me that he had an allergic reaction to the Nair (hair removal) which he used on his pubic hair. Whilst I can understand his discomfort, he should have told me on the day so that I could have invited someone else.
It would have been easier to say "I'm sorry... I just bottled it and decided not to go", rather than an elaborate story.
I went to my first party on Saturday night and firstly I want to thank BonnyClyde, ThomasBiglad and Dubsclpmg for been fantastic hosts.
I do realise that there may be times when people for whatever reason will have to back out at the last minute, but having witnessed the preperation that the above put in, I think it is only mannerly to let organisers know in good time.
Thank you again to everyone I met, and I do look forward to more and letting go...lol
havin met bonns an clyde an thomas an ger an mary on numerous occasions i really know how they go all out to make their guests feel welcome an enjoy their party's. :inlove:they deserve a big ty from everyone who attends. so thanks to bonnyclyde an dubcplmg an thomas fr last weekend. i really enjoyed myself on fri.. :thrilled:sorry i couldn stay fr weekend but circumstances didnt allow.. :upset: bonns even cooked special dinner fr me. hhhhmmmmm i cant wait to go there again
so the excuse of dog eatin car keys or all trains cancelled, cat had kittens, phone lost,an other numerous excuses just dont cut it.. make the effort to reply honestly as people really do go all out sometimes to accomodate us all.
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and on another note..... how bout when u make arrangements for a private meet an travel fr 2 hrs or so an get to hotel an pay fr room. then the other person arrives an joins u. then as ye havin dinner an few drinks tat person pipes up. oh by the way i forgot my wallet. do give me ur address an i send u my half of the money.. an after u leave next mornin u know u will hear nowt again. gggrrrrrrr
this as far as im concerned is a hanging offence
found this earlier mail from Layla, but this and the above mail from Devilangel I think typify the effort some people put into making sure a "meet" is enjoyable & memorable for all concerned,- nerves, cold feet, changes of mind are all perfectly understandable especially if it is a 1st time (but then for most people the meet is a 1st with that person/couple)...but no explination or going AWOL... well I think the views on that are by now well known. Remember "no means no"...everything is consentual and just because you go to a meet/party/or drinks does not mean anything is necessarily or expected to happen, ... texts, mails and chat may set the fire but a little spark is still required to light the flame.
Quote by user=layla Hi Just wanted to let off some steam, had some good comm with a few couples and was looking forward to meeting up, well we have had some good meets but last night was looking forward to meeting a couple and yes youve guessed no show, went to a lot of trouble in order to be able to accomodate set a wonderful scene everything was laid on !! phonecall half an hour after meeting time to say they had changed their mind no other explanation, we had chatted txt email pics etc,...that was unfair if you had said you got too nervous etc fine that happens to us all but just to say we changed our mind hang up and then turn your phone off not good. !!!!
Thanks alanball for that just wanted to update that we have had a few more great meets with great people, the kind of people who kept in touch met on time , the kind of people who were very appreciative of the effort we had made , the kind of people i know will remain our friends and to the one in particular who brought me choccies ty xxx
layla
as there appear to be a lots of parties planned over the next few weeks, some party guests or party hopefuls might like to read this in advance.
Anyone who has ever organised a party knows the work involved .. so if your a potenital guest think of the organiser.
these days texts are free .. a simple " I can't come because ...." will save your embarrassment later when you meet thwe organiser in chat.
Possibly not directly related, but in a way it is.
Firstly not having "a go," just that I wanted to bring it up as it has happened a couple of times I have found, - where a Function Room turns out to be a Bar/Pub.
But just to make Event Organisers aware - some people know a "Function Room" as a different place to a Bar - a Bar would also be known as a Pub. A Function Room tends to be a Room mainly used to cater solely for Groups.
If had arranged to go to a Function Room you would therefore be expecting a Function Room for intended Group, obviously NOT your regular Watering Hole. Not that there's a solitary thing wrong with a Pub or Bar in the least, just that with arranging to meet people from here, obviously with not knowing people nor recognizing folk when a lot don't show their face on cam, if in a Function Room in Group it's workable, but if in a Bar it could be workable too with a simple text sent before-hand "Where are ye?!" - and then others could let them know where in the sardine cram jam packed busy Bar they are sitting.
But other-wise, personally I see no point in walking into a Pub when you don't know who you're looking for!!! I would much rather do a day's knitting or weeding in the garden than sit in a Bar drinking on my own lol, OR waste my time and money on travelling and accommodation lol to attempt to make efforts to meet people like .....!!
On the other hand - "A secret Location down the Country" to me, reads couple of Hotel-rooms for a "Private-party!" But that could easily turn out to be a thoroughly enjoyable night on the tiles with the girlies and guys lol complete with loads of equally enjoyable drinkies, and you could easily end up missing a fantastic great night out!!
But when you're not familar with this scene it's hard to gauge anything, and I'm not on bout being put under pressure to do anything, so I'm not using that as an excuse in any way, shape or form. However, I actually am trying here like, but it's fast losing a much-loved un-willing yet reluctant yet apparent forcibly defeated Fan!!
:undecided::-?:uhoh::(:upset::undecided::(:upset:
Would also like to add by the way that it goes without saying that the Organisers' tireless work and efforts put into organising Events are exceptional and very much appreciated.
While slightly confused by your post Zaza I would have to agree that a Bar is a bar & a cordoned off area in the back of the bar is not a Function Room.
A dedicated function room is preferable for meet & greet events as it means it is easier to control who is entering the room & those there will find it easier to mix & mingle with those present.
The problem I think you are trying to air is the issue of "secrecy" that surrounds the organising of a "meet" event, & yes it would be nice to know in advance who might be there, that way it would be possible to make some advance contacts via chat or mail to those attending that you may have an interest in meeting for a drink & chat. other than you directly asking people if they are going it is difficult to know how to keep the necessary secrecy. that said I have enjoyed the "meets" I have gone to, even though I never knew who might be there, but it can be a bit daunting .. a bit like having to make a "cold call" ... but please don't give up & if there is a "meet" near you go along
Yes Alan it can be a bit daunting the not knowing who will be there etc....I went to a meet once and I had a guy come up to me and ask me did I want an airwaves chewing gum, telling me the blue ones where better for imagine that :uhoh:
What bad manners ... Airwaves (I did see a mention in the posts about Airwaves) ... & did the cad even offer to buy you a drink ... I would never be so un-gentlemanly as that ... I hope it hasn't put you of going to a meet & greet ... but watch out for the guys offering Airwaves ...
Hi all,
I organise my own parties occasionally and don't advertise. I only invite people that I've met and those recommended by close play friends. It's invite only and not too big. It's built on friendship, fun and trust. I found out recently that someone who was a regular at my parties sent out pictures from a party that I held last April, to other people. A zip file of about 20 pics together with my original email to him. He must have been trying to entice people to go to his own party which he recently advertised and was supposed to be held last Wednesday. Most of the faces are blacked out but they were for personal use only and not to be distributed to anyone outside the group of people who went. We liked our pictures taken for memories and also.. it's sexy as hell... but there has been this rule that it's for personal use and not for general distribution. Of course, if we want to add them to our profiles, we (and S4I) make sure that the people are not easily recognisable.
To make things worse though, he included an email which had the names of the people. Ok, it's only first names, but sometimes if you look at a picture and you see a name, you can match them.
If any of you have received emails from a guy (with a couple profile) inviting you to a party, I would appreciate if you could delete them. I would also appreciate if you could email me if you've been sent these pictures. I would like to know how often he sent them on.
The swinging scene is built on fun, honesty, sexual experimentation & openness but conversely, caution, secrecy and discretion. If trust is lost, it will be difficult for a lot of people here to continue playing. After all.. we have lives outside of this.
Thanks..
I think you should send an email to ADMIN with the users name (don't diclose it here) That type of behaviour is un-called for! Padd's
Quote by user=sungoddess Hi all, I organise my own parties occasionally and don't advertise. I only invite people that I've met and those recommended by close play friends. It's invite only and not too big. It's built on friendship, fun and trust. I found out recently that someone who was a regular at my parties sent out pictures from a party that I held last April, to other people. A zip file of about 20 pics together with my original email to him. He must have been trying to entice people to go to his own party which he recently advertised and was supposed to be held last Wednesday. Most of the faces are blacked out but they were for personal use only and not to be distributed to anyone outside the group of people who went. We liked our pictures taken for memories and also.. it's sexy as hell... but there has been this rule that it's for personal use and not for general distribution. Of course, if we want to add them to our profiles, we (and S4I) make sure that the people are not easily recognisable. To make things worse though, he included an email which had the names of the people. Ok, it's only first names, but sometimes if you look at a picture and you see a name, you can match them. If any of you have received emails from a guy (with a couple profile) inviting you to a party, I would appreciate if you could delete them. I would also appreciate if you could email me if you've been sent these pictures. I would like to know how often he sent them on. The swinging scene is built on fun, honesty, sexual experimentation & openness but conversely, caution, secrecy and discretion. If trust is lost, it will be difficult for a lot of people here to continue playing. After all.. we have lives outside of this. Thanks..
I have to agree with Padds, this is outrageous behaviour ... whatever happened honesty and the un-written agreement that "what happens on tour stays on tour".
I am sure all that went to the Sungoddess party were shocked & stunned to be recieving a mail letting them know that their privacy may have been compromised & many may be in 2 minds about attending future parties (whoever runs them).
That someone would be trying to organise a party on the success of someone elses party is also un-acceptable.
Is it not the norm that pictures are by agreement, for the private use of the picture taker & never for public distribution.
As all this technically happened outside Swing4Ireland it is unlikely anything can be done by the admin or mods team ....but it is a salutory lesson to us all ... I forsee people imposing a picture ban at meets and parties.
:bounce: I'm just gonna bump this, as we have new members joining everyday and some of the members here need a refresher course. This is coming from someone who has been let down over the weekend (not the first time) by 2guys in less than 24hours it's not on and it does'nt look good on your behalf!! I know a friend of mine was let down last weekend and at short notice,leaving her sat home alone having put alot of effort into getting ready etc etc and yes it happens to guys too so this is not just aimed at guys, before ye attack me. I wish the 'no shows' would take into consideration that some of us women/men are single parents and our 'free' time is precious and couples have sitters to organise too!! A little bit of courtesy and respect costs nothing and a bit of cop on goes along way..... Rant over :fury::fury:
Quote by user=Amberx :bounce: I'm just gonna bump this, as we have new members joining everyday and some of the members here need a refresher course. This is coming from someone who has been let down over the weekend (not the first time) by 2guys in less than 24hours it's not on and it does'nt look good on your behalf!! I know a friend of mine was let down last weekend and at short notice,leaving her sat home alone having put alot of effort into getting ready etc etc and yes it happens to guys too so this is not just aimed at guys, before ye attack me. I wish the 'no shows' would take into consideration that some of us women/men are single parents and our 'free' time is precious and couples have sitters to organise too!! A little bit of courtesy and respect costs nothing and a bit of cop on goes along way..... Rant over :fury::fury:
Well Said amber.
I can appreciate people not being able to make it But 24 hours Notice Is respectful at the least. Not having the 'cahoinas ' to make a call and tell a lady or for that matter a couple you will be showing up really takes the piss.
[quote user=slightlysexy]yes , a good post alan :-) and might just throw in this addy here too, lots of questions answered on it
There should be some more on this page for single people though slightly maybe this could be looked at in the future.
I was looking on the links on this page for singles on this page and as it's written from the point of view of a swing club it just says that single people aren't allowed which is not very helpfull at all.
well style i didnt write it maybe if i did would be differant , but i really meant it as a referance point, take what works for u out of it and leave the rest :)
Swing4Ireland features sexually explicit material. To access this site you must be of the legal age to engage with the material of an adult site.
By entering Swing4Ireland you agree to the following;
I am deemed an adult where I live, and I am at least 18 years old
I am allowed to access & view sexually explicit material
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this as far as im concerned is a hanging offence
:undecided::-?:uhoh::(
:upset::undecided::(:upset:
imagine that :uhoh:
, but i really meant it as a referance point, take what works for u out of it and leave the rest :)