This is a topic which I have to admit I have been interested in for a long time, since I first joined the site over 2 years ago. Whether or not members feel that monogamy is necessary for a faithful relationship to occur? monogamy : The practice of having only one mate. Fidelity : conjugal faithfulness and loyalty. Tradition has lead us to believe that to have a successful faithful relationship, each partner must practice monogamy. I want to pose a few questions to the members on here....the singles....the couples playing together....and those who are playing away from home so to speak. 1.to the swinging couples: Do you believe that you have a faithful relationship given that you dont practice monogamy? And why? How would you view it if your partner met someone else and you were not aware of it? Would that be infidelity to you? And how is this different? 2. to the singles: Since you are here as a single...do you see it as one day automatically being something you would wish to continue when in a relationship? If no...then why? Do you see yourself as finding monogamy being essential to the success of a faithful relationship eventhough you are on here? 3. to those here without their partners knowledge.....How faithful are you in your relationship?..Do you class yourself as purely being physically unfaithful?..Does that carry less weight to emotional infidelity? 4. for those that engage in bisexual activities but in hetrosexual relationships:.... the questions for you are the same as those for no3. Or indeed if you feel that you are being unfaithful as you are being physical with someone of the opposite sex to that of your partner. I am interested in hearing many different views on this subject and hope to hear from all sides. And there are no right or wrong opinions either.
very interesting mona....well as a single male now and hav been for the last 5 yrs ...i would tell any woman that i was in a stable relationship that i have been active on a swing site and see if she has any interest in that lifestlye and then make a decision on whether or not that is something we both want not just me ..but also it would have to be a very stable relationship for that to happen.
.As for the fidelity part i was in a relationship for 11 yrs and never once felt nor taught of the need to break that trust placed in me by my partner at the time as for me why would i be in a relationship with some one if i felt the need to be unfaithfull..that would certainly not fair on her or me..
thats just my opinion but then im me and might have different views to other people ..
Wow deep Mona.
I suppose we fall into the swinging couples category.
1. to the swinging couples: Do you believe that you have a faithful relationship given that you don't practice monogamy? And why?
We have made a commitment to each other and what I would say is emotionally monogamous. When we swing we do it as a couple something we both share and enjoy. we are both very honest with each other, its how we came into the lifestyle in a way. We recognized that sometimes wed like to fuck someone was a bit of an odd realization as it didn't quite fit with the traditional view of love and marriage. We didn't want it to destroy our relationship as its is special. Called me old fashioned but there is a difference between being physically and emotionally intimate and fucking. There is love , trust and respect, We are comfortable enough to know that we still want to spend the rest of our lives swinging ever becomes an issue then we stop, that simple. Our relationship is more important than that.
How would you view it if your partner met someone else and you were not aware of it? Would that be infidelity to you? And how is this different?
I would consider it infidelity. Its different in that they are doing something behind my back so to speak. Relationships only work if you are honest about the important things. Hes allowed to lie when I ask does my bum look big in this
1. to the swinging couples: Do you believe that you have a faithful relationship given that you dont practice monogamy? And why?
How would you view it if your partner met someone else and you were not aware of it? Would that be infidelity to you? And how is this different?
We do believe we have a faithful relationship as we only swing as a couple, if your parnter is with you when you are having a meet and you dont do anything you know your partner wouldnt want you to do with another person, then you are been faithful to your partners values for want of a better word. But if for some reason your partner leaves the room and you continue to play with the other person then unless it is agreed between yourselfs before hand i would say you are been unfaithful, as swinging as a cpl should be just that.
If your partner meets someone and you are not aware of it there is no way to dress it up...it is cheating!
But this is just our personal veiw, we are not trying to be anyones moral compass.
Des, what an interesting post!. Now to answer the questions you pose to us singles. (a)Since you are here as a single...do you see it as one day automatically being something you would wish to continue when in a relationship? If no...then why? Not necessarily. I am here because I find myself single and miss my sex life, so I'm here for nsa rather than swinging, really. That said, I have really enjoyed (am still enjoying!) having new sexual experiences that I wouldn't have had, had I not joined the site. Continuing in the swinging lifestyle certainly would not be a requirement in a relationship and I think I could give it up quite easily if I really fell for someone. It's very hard to say if I would introduce them to swinging and become a swinging couple as I have never done it etc. but again wouldn't rule it out. The biggest revelation to me since joining the site has been the couples; I'm so impressed by them!. They almost entirely seem to be extremely happy, loyal, secure, loving, respectful - and with dynamite sex lives to boot! far more so than my civilian friends. So, it’s definitely something to consider as the evidence seems to be that it doesn't damage solid relationships, but rather enhances them. The ‘if no’ bit refers to my own insecurities. I've never had a relationship where I was really secure enough to feel comfortable with the idea of them having sexual relations (as Bill called it) with another woman. In my last relationship I would have been worried sick that he was comparing me unfavourably to the other women, and eaten up with jealousy. So, I guess it would all depend on the relationship. I think it would be well down the line when absolute trust and security had been established, and I reckon that takes considerable time. But I think my expereince on here has shown me that that it is the ideal. I would love to have a relationship like some of the ones I’ve witnessed on here. (b)Do you see yourself as finding monogamy being essential to the success of a faithful relationship eventhough you are on here. I think I’ve answered that but to recap. Yes, initially until trust and security have been established. No, in the long term if the relationship achieves the level of trust, loyalty and security to swing successfully (the holy grail). Des, another question you might raise at some stage is why so many of us single girls don’t want to play with attached men who are playing away without their partner’s knowledge/permission. I think that could be an interesting discussion.
Thanks to all who have taken the time to read and those who replied to this thread.
I was a single when I was introduced to this site and as such I have never seen it all from the perspective of swinging couples whether purely swing partners or those in long term loving, emotionally faithful relationships.
My own personal opinion is that I can see myself quite easily giving it all up if I meet someone I wanted to be in a serious relationship with. But like Eden, I have also witnessed some incredible couples in here who have the most amazing relationships and who swing.
I also however have seen those that are into swinging for the wrong reasons, with one partner being into it all more than the other and those where tensions simmer and on occassion rear their heads and cause difficulties and potential explosions down the line.
For me, who is to say whether I would ever rule it out way down the line when I felt secure enough with someone and them with me, to maybe indulge on the odd occassion in this lifestyle.
Eden, you mention that it would be an interesting dicussion regarding those who are here without their partners knowledge.....I asked that in my original post too. But alas as yet noone has voiced their opinion on that matter.
Please keep the replies coming and maybe, if anyone would like to share......how they brought up the subject of swinging with their other halves......how was the decision made to enter this lifestyle, albeit in the few times a year category or in the few times a month one either.
I am sure there are those in here who would be very interested in your response.
Des once again a thought provoking forum :clap:
Now I am gonna be lazy like sparks :D :D not offence intended chick but i am going to have to say what Eden so eloquently stated goes for me as well :) i am just glad i waited to reply....thanks Eden
Would totally agree with yummys reply when it comes couples. One thing we would say is that if one part of a couple was to swing on their own while not telling their partner that becomes deceit and its a slippery slope when deceit involved!
S & D.
Yes S&S you are so right and its quiet obvious when ya meet with a couple and one half is only doing it to please the other..it just doesnt work....We would both be so uncomfortable playing with that type of couple and it really is a recipe for disaster....We got into swinging 10 years ago I and(Mrs D) was not 100% comfortable with it,I was not secure enough at the time and it would have caused problems had we of stuck at it...we came back into the scene a couple of years ago and it has done wonders for our sex life and also our relationship it has given me new confidence and so much security in our marraige!!Now some might find that a strange statement to make but I know for a fact others will know excatly what I mean.......We would never play alone because the whole point of swinging for us is each others pleasure but thats not to say that we would judge anyone else if they do because all relationships are different and evolve at different paces!!!!!
Am very interested to see a point of view from someone who swings without their partners knowledge....hmmmmm wonder will we????
Mrs D ;))
the clyde and i have been on the site 5 years and i an extra 1 year on my own but the clyde knew i was on and i would not meet anyone with out him knowing we been married for 29 years and love one another to bits we trust one another and we discuss everything you have to have trust and have respect for one another to be able to swing we all have do s and dont,s to what we all want and to keep our selves safe. even though we both swing we still feel we that monogamy and that fidelity is still in tact.
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Des once again a thought provoking forum :clap:
Now I am gonna be lazy like sparks :D :D not offence intended chick but i am going to have to say what Eden so eloquently stated goes for me as well 
