The concept is NSA (no strings attached )...¦fun with like minded people, meet, play and then go back to your everyday life. However there are occasions when the relationship becomes a little more than friendship for ...or you would like for it to become a little more. What do you do when that little "green eyed jealousy monster" raises their head? Do you expect your close friends, those you meet more than once, to be exclusive to you? Can Exclusivity and Swinging be bed fellows? What do you really understand by NSA? Perhaps it is a personality deficit on my part but I can and do enjoy sex with others without that emotional attachment some people seem to need. We are consenting adults meeting for fun, to get that mental & physical rush that can only be obtained through sex Then there are other occasions, that for the time I am with someone I am with them physically & emotionally. Obtaining that physical & emotional high you get when making love to your loved one. When it is over we all leave as friends and look forward to our next meeting, & even though I know they will be meeting others I respect their choice to do so, because it is who we are Swingers... sexual free spirits ... and occasionally there is that special one that will capture our spirit for that special moment in time, - but if you truly respect them you have to let them go. If you want more from the relationship you need to sit and talk to them ...cards on the table.
Alan if people allow emotions into swinging they are asking for trouble. N.S.A is just that, and should also mean no emotions attached. Swingers in general are just here to fuck, nothing more nothing less, making friends is a bonus but if you start to have feelings for them ie little green eyed monsters you need to sit down and think what the hell is going on, sort out what is going on with you and if those feelings continue you owe it to the object of your affection to tell them how you feel, they could feel the same or run a mile, but it is best to have it out in the open.
This is not aimed at the OP, it is just my feelings about the question raised.
I replied to this post in the other thread but agree wholeheartedly with both alan and raven ....if emotions do start to interfere with NSA fun then its time to sit down with said object of your affections and hash it out ..................xxxxxxxxanny
Quote by user=ravenfire This is not aimed at the OP, it is just my feelings about the question raised.
Raven I agree whole-heartedly with your reply, I have raised a general question, I am hoping it starts an informed adult discussion, We are all human so on occasion attachments can form & I feel it is something we should all think about & decide how we would deal with it. As always I find your replies reasoned & well though out & on this occasion I think we agree on how such a issue should be dealt with. Alan
I have had the misfortune of having the little green eyed monster raise itself in a 3some situation. I have the upmost respect for any guy that lets another guy be with his wife / partner, as i cant imagine its an easy thing to watch / be involved with for some.
Sadly i have been on the receiving end of when they couldn't stand it anymore and have been physically assulted twice when the green eyed monster kicked in. Trying to get dressed and get out of somewhere when an argument has kicked off is not an experience i would like to repeat any time soon.
You can become attached to some people very easily so you need to be 100% sure what your looking for and can handle your feelings / emotions.
For me i enjoy the group dynamic and i love seeing someone i like having a good time, and you get to have a laugh about it later.
Sean
id love to get my wife to play she knows i wouldnt be jealous at all on the contrary...but i can see how the green eyed monster can be a terrible experience
french I am sure you would love to be in that situation....although as sean said and i hope i took your post up right sean, fantasy and reality are two completely different things.
I found myself in a 3some with an ex and another person, halfway through my ex went to the bathroom and unknown to me got himself dressed.
He said that he had felt like he couldnt satisfy me enough and he wasnt big enough for me!!!! Regardless of the fact we were living together and I was crazy about him.
Now tis was a guy who;d had numerous 3somes with previous partners, so why this occasion was different I do not know.
We are all human, as a result of that we can experience jealousy both within ourselves and from others, so it is only expected that it happens within swinging..
But within the world of swing, we need to learn how to deal with jealousy, how it effects both ourselves and others, when it takes hold to a point you are meddling, creating problems, hurting others, then take a break and let other people enjoy themselves..
Swing is about meeting for sexual pleasure, sharing our fantasies , preferences, enjoying friendships made along the way, as Alan-Ball rightly says If you feel you are finding that you can't deal with all that it entails, tell whoever is involved, work it out in an adult fashion.
Desdemona great point on comparisons, I haven't met a swinger yet who doesn't feel inadequate in some way, including myself, and it just adds to the enjoyment of knowing we aren't feckin pornstars!
Hi Guys, Not being in someone elses shoes I can only speak for mrs m and myself. Neither of us knew how the first meet would go, would we be jealous or would it be ok. I felt jealous for a split second when i heard my wife moan with pleasure but then i realised the woman i was with was also moaning so i would have been very stupid to be jealous. Since then we have had numerous meets, we find we both prefer seperate rooms and on occassion even swing on our own. We both have full knowledge and it has to be like that. I trust her implicitly and that trust is reciprocated by mrsm. I would never break it and neither would she. For example she had a visitor yeasterday while I was at work she called me as he arrived and after he left and all I asked was did you have fun. What I am trying to say is the realtionship needs to be very stable, swinging wont fix a bad relationship, it will only exacerbate the problem. This lifestyle does not suit everyone and people need to think long and hard before embarking on it.
If I felt jealous or if mrs m felt jealous then we would stop immeadiately, nothing is worth damging or destroying your marriage /relationship.
Quote by user=muldernTcell Hi Guys, Not being in someone elses shoes I can only speak for mrs m and myself. Neither of us knew how the first meet would go, would we be jealous or would it be ok. I felt jealous for a split second when i heard my wife moan with pleasure but then i realised the woman i was with was also moaning so i would have been very stupid to be jealous. Since then we have had numerous meets, we find we both prefer seperate rooms and on occassion even swing on our own. We both have full knowledge and it has to be like that. I trust her implicitly and that trust is reciprocated by mrsm. I would never break it and neither would she. For example she had a visitor yeasterday while I was at work she called me as he arrived and after he left and all I asked was did you have fun. What I am trying to say is the realtionship needs to be very stable, swinging wont fix a bad relationship, it will only exacerbate the problem. This lifestyle does not suit everyone and people need to think long and hard before embarking on it. If I felt jealous or if mrs m felt jealous then we would stop immeadiately, nothing is worth damging or destroying your marriage /relationship.
we were reading all replys and you guy were first to bring word trust into play if no trust you you dont play we have total trust in each other then no green monster i love to here jill moan never go alone
Virgo mine look like bloody mountains in a push up bra lol, if i had my way i would wear it 24/7....two kids in a year doesnt help the boobs:upset:hwoar:
But within the world of swing, we need to learn how to deal with jealousy, how it effects both ourselves and others, when it takes hold to a point you are meddling, creating problems, hurting others, then take a break and let other people enjoy themselves. by not saying anything it will continue it needs to be stoped in it tracks we are all on here for the one thing and that is sex no room for jealousy
bonnyclyde me loves you all xxxxxxx
Maybe a small bit of jealousy is a good thing as some people get turned on by the green eyed monster. It`s a complicated issue as emotions can change quickly, we are all human after all:wary:
I think jealousy is one of them human emotions that is hard to sudue, I think its more a case of how we channel that emotion and deal with it, more so that trying to eliminate it altogether, Raven made a great point, it can e something that adds to the turn on of swinging if the persons involved can compartmentalize it and deal with it in the right way.
I admit I wouldnt be human if I didnt get the odd twinge from time to time when I see I may have been excluded from someones fun, but on balance I know its the nature of the lifestyle and we all get our turn in joining in.
Quote by user=bonnyclyde within the world of swing, we need to learn how to deal with jealousy, how it effects both ourselves and others, when it takes hold to a point you are meddling, creating problems, hurting others, then take a break and let other people enjoy themselves. by not saying anything it will continue it needs to be stopped in it tracks we are all on here for the one thing and that is sex no room for jealousy
I would have to say that although I have meet many people I have never been jealous of the fact they meet others also...sure that is the idea of being here. However if I did become jealous I would hope I have the maturity to recognise it & have to cop-on to move on... life is for living, death is a pain in the ass.
We have had problems with one of our meets getting jealous, to the point of trying to exclude teddy during the meet. It was a pity as he did seem to be nice but we found after the third meet he only wanted to meet me behind teddys back and as we are a cpl who swing together there is no place for anyone trying to have a one to one with either of us.
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