DOES IT MATTER

30 May 2010

On a Swing site does it really matter if you are single, married, divorced, straight, bi or gay. If we are all on the site for fun, NSA encounters, should we use societies tags to base our decision on whether we will even message or chat to a person based on a marital status, never mind their sexuality or preferences. Surely a Swing site should be the least judgemental of social network type sites. Without being pre-judged it should be possible to come on site as the person you are, rather than the person you portray to society in general

30 May 2010

It doesnt matter that this is a swing site, everyone no matter what their marital status have a choice about who they want to meet. Some people have no problem meeting ppl who are attached some do, it is all about personal choice and just because some may think because it is a swing site doesnt mean that ppls choices dont come into it as to who they want to meet. We live in a world of free will and choice and as much as we may want everyone to have the same thoughts as us, it is not going to happen and would make for a very boring life.

31 May 2010

I personally make the decision to not meet with those that are married or attached, unless their partner is fully aware and i can verify this. I will admit to having done in the past......BUT after coming from the other side of it and having someone I was in what I thought was a serious, non swinging, commited relationship........but he didnt see it that way.....I wouldnt want to put anyone through what I went through. I had numerous people on this site saying...what did i expect......its a swing site......but are they saying in essence......every partner in a commited couple in here....that each partner can do whatever they want behind their husbands/wives/bf's or gf's backs without consequence???? And further from that.....that infidelity is to be expected? I feel that in being on this site that honestly is an equally important value to what it is deemed in general society. Alan....I feel that no, is doesnt matter if you are single, attached, married....gay or bi.....that everyone has the right to be here.....but equally everyone has the right to apply their own personal values to their choice of potential encounters.

31 May 2010

Alan, personally for me a persons status is not an issue, for me it's about personality and connections, everyone has a right to be here as consenting adults, however not everyone shares that view, and they are rightly entitled to disagree. No matter what walk of life in society we take, we will always be judged and labelled, its what ppl do, rightly or wrongly its a fact of life and a part of human nature. The only issue I would have that irritates the hell out of me, is when ppl moralise etc etc, as a well known book states, he who is without sin cast the first stone,and another well known quote, judge not till you walk in my shoes, whilst we may not agree with what some ppl do, we have no right to judge/lable etc etc. Mona, I think what ppl meant is that in general very few relationships born out of swinging tend to last, at least thats my perception on it. I personally have friends abroad who ended up in same situation as yourself, I admire your candour and honesty, and being able to move on, baggage of an emotional kind if left unchecked can become all consuming in an unhealthy way...bit off topic to alans thread, but just wanted to reply also to mona.

31 May 2010

I Don't get this thread? Surely as humans we have been bestowed with a thing called free will! Labels don't mean anything if the person who's communicated an interest in us doesn't on the first impression meet what criteria we have in regards to who we wish to interact with. I've approached a lot more on here via email chat whom haven't responded to my advances, and I accept it and move along, in the same breath I can say I have done similar. If I don't see a smidgen of compatibility I won't delude someone and keep contact with them arising any false hopes or possibilities that more will come of the initial contact. The persons Marital status, sexuality etc doesn't come into it. My Point being that some find it hard to be so blunt in rejecting peoples advances and may use the above labels as reasons to justify they're reasons not to meet.