Do couples feel threatened by Singles (guys or girls) ?
I was asked the question over coffee and as we discussed it I was reminded of some conversations I have had with singles & couples on site.
From these conversations I learnt that, everyone is on site for their own reasons, and for couples it is often for that little added something to their sex life, but they have rules.
1- The woman picks whom they will meet, nearly always a woman
2- The person picked will be a similar size and age to her, rarely younger or slimmer.
3- Will be bi and experienced
4- No kissing between the male and the visiting fem
5- No penetrive sex with the visiting fem but oral sex is ok
6- The male will leave the ladies to play alone
7- Couples rarely meet single guys
8- the lady may pick a male to meet for a special occasion but her partner cannot pick a woman to meet.
Thinking about it, it all made sense because each person in the couple were having the extra fun they wanted but there was unlikely to be any long term emotional attachment or bond with those they meet and as such would not threaten their relationship.
It also helped explain the �no single guys wanted� on most profiles,
The guys didn�t feel threatened by another male, so they were still the alpha male in their relationship,
They get to enjoy their girl-girl fantasy and partake in the action
The women get to live out their bi tendencies, without feeling they are cheating & all the while still controlling their partner.
In a party situation some of the rules are relaxed but they guy is expected to get approval from his partner before he disappears from her sight to play.
I would be interested on the views of singles and couples to see whether this hypothesis is even nearly right.
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Do couples feel threatened by Singles (guys or girls) ?
I do unconsciously abide to those rules when I was a newbie many moons ago when I still met couples for 3sums. For me, the play is always just softplay / foreplay, wanting to ensure that the female of the couple does not get jealous or intimidated. Fear that it may affect her self confidence. I made sure that the guy cum with his partner in the end.
Whilst it was good and I enjoyed it, after awhile I decided that a 3sum with a couple is no longer for me as I feel like a facilitator, a warmer upper, an apperatif and it no longer does anything more me. Whilst I'm bi, some penetrative sex is important.
1- he woman picks whom they will meet, nearly always a woman
2- he person picked will be a similar size and age to her, rarely younger or slimmer.
3- Will be bi and experienced
4- No kissing between the male and the visiting fem
5- No penetrive sex with the visiting fem but oral sex is ok
6- The male will leave the ladies to play alone
7- Couples rarely meet single guys
8- the lady may pick a male to meet for a special occasion but her partner cannot pick a woman to meet.
In a party situation some of the rules are relaxed but they guy is expected to get approval from his partner before he disappears from her sight to play.
quote]
I think you are right on your first point to a degree, yes i do pick who we meet but sadly on this site it is harder to get a woman so our meets have been mostly male.
Point two, again right to a degree, our females meets have been older than me, and i do have an age limit of no one younger than me.
Point three, if possible yes we do go for bi and experienced but not everyone is honest on here,they say they are bi but turn out not to be.
Point four, is totally right. I feel kissing between a male and fem is a very intimate thing and something i want reserved just for me with teddy, i do sometimes like to kiss a fem which is kind of pot and kettle but for some reason i don't feel its as intimate.
Point five, why have another fem up if no one is going to fuck her?
Point six, again why have a fem up if its going to be a one on one, its either meant to be a threesome or its not.
Point seven, on this site there isn't much choice if your horny for a meet! Serious lack of fems who will meet at short notice.
Point eight, true. 100%
And your last point, why go to a party as a couple if you are going to go your separate ways? Surely it should be a case of the couple having fun together with other people.
Just my point, i`m sure not everyone will agree with it, but that's life.
I voted sometimes, because to say never would be total bull, everyone feels insecure when they first start swinging, couples and singles alike.
As a single I know just how difficult it was when I joined a site, it was always much easier at parties, but when you start talking to a couple proir to a meet, it was difficult to make all parties feel comfortable..
Being part of a couple , the few times I was, I always thought good comunication between everyone was the key to success, talking about what we all hoped for and wanted from the meet...
Great thread Alan.... like sungodess I too used to be conscious of this when i first started meeting couples and it took from my enjoyment and agree with blondie that yes some couple do feel threatened by the singles but that is there issue and not mine.
Couples with any or all of the rules listed should make them clear to the single female or male from the begining so that the single is fully aware of the conditions of the meet if they choose to go ahead with it and not be left feeling as if he/she has done something wrong or scapegoated if things go wrong.
Alan,
have to say, its a nice thread, but as a cpl only a cpl of things we'd agree with what you have listed.
1. Woman always pick who she will meet... Yes, why would you want to play with someone if there is no initial attraction?
2. Similar size and age... sex appeal comes in all shapes and sizes, to say age or size is an issue would be totally unfair, but swinging is now in the 21st century and thanks to the internet, people can now be more selective in their choice of playmates.
3. Be bi and experienced... totally disagree, but when we meet cpls or fems, if they genuinely are not bi or curious, they are not being truthful, those kind of things are normally chatted about before the meet takes place, am pretty sure there is quite a number of fems on the scene that are genuinely bi or curious but it could possibly be that they are bi selective and only play with other fems they can connect with sexually.
4. No kissing between male and 'other' fem... sorry but if there no kissing no point in going there. just not in to cold sex.
5. No penetrative sex... Penetrative sex is between consenting adults, just because a woman is naked and playing does not always mean that you can just 'get in there', other fem may not want penetrative sex, so best not to give her a surprise when she is enjoying something else that is happening, no matter how hot a situation gets, as the male half, my involvement with other fems is very much down to them, not my wife, and she is not a warm up act for either me to shag my wife, or for me to shag the other woman.
6. males will leave the fem to play alone, don't really see this as a problem if both women enjoy exploring each other, it may be one fems first time and she may be nervous.
7. Couples rarely meet single guys... totally disagree, plenty of single guys on the party circuits, total gents, thats why they get invited, they know how to treat women and plenty of genuinely nice guys and gals about for couples not to have to take whatever is available.
8. Lady may pick a male, but male may not pick a fem... think that has been answered in 7. but in saying that, best to treat every experience as a special occasion and just enjoy it for what it is.
but hey, we may all say we have no rules, but we have our own choices to make.
Good thread Alan but, I have to disagree !!! Not all encounters are the same and it would be unfair to stereotype all couples.
Each couple has their own set of rules or none !!!
I have found that once the couple are relaxed and confident of their own sexual needs there is never a problem.
These views are from my own personal experience and may not reflect everyones. Hope I have not bored all of you :bounce: :lick:
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