clyde recovers gharges at padds to sock him but padds turns round drops his pants bends over and says clyde come and get skids to a halt about turns and legs fook that padds im is pmsl bomber is well bomber is sitting in the sand with a bucket on his head and slapping a sand castle with his spade. with that another boats comes to the shore ffs its the gardener the milk man superhero and the not so pregnant man now. padds says its like the never ending story here what will b next..........,.
Capt Thomas and his crew or horny piping dancers arrive looking for fight ... a dance off beckoned...
who could save them...Padds has 2 left feet, Clyde has his foot n his mouth... tasty toenails ... all d crisps r gone..bomber has wings,... maybe Shaz who does looks good n pink & did bewbie bring her toto ....
strangly a mysterious mist arrived on the island & renderd the dancers invisible ... fook said Capt Thomas ... the mods hacve cast a spell to disable me horn piping dancers...what will I do now...thanks god sais Padds ... mods on our side .... but how long will the mist contiune ... will everything be invisible ... this fantasy island was a puzzle
But they where not ladies
It was Village People
it was padds kind of party lots of men with BIG desides its time to got off the island he grabs bewbee and runs to the boat that the milkman the gardener and the not so pregnant man left on the shore. they put to sea with that bewbee shouts clyde we only have 3 condoms left here and me bottle of colour dark brown number 6 is on my dressing table on the island clyde thinks the sun has got to bewbee cos he never sen a dressing table on the island feck clyde says we caqnt go back there cos its getting out of.........
But Padds has a big gun of his own,,, never frets about others, he takes charge,,, call for the calvary, it arrives
Big lad pauses,, where the fook is
We miss her dearly xxxxxxxx Padds
everyone !! i turn my back for an evil thought for 2 seconds and they all escape !!! the captian once more looks through his telecope he spies pads on the bech trying to put in bewbies colour no 6 but he has ended up covering his whole body in dye ! he spies alan ball having an argument with a few sea shells because they wouldnt pay the price he wanted for his condom balloon puppets ! and as he glances over north he spies clyde and bewbies escape off the island in another boat , "men " or dancers !! they are escaping !! follow that boat ! the crew aka the dancers get to turning the uss hairy bush about to follow the escapies! "no one will escape my charm , ahem ! grasp i mean ! revenge for me will be sweet"
will clyde and bewbie escape the cluches of the captian , will alan ball get his price for his balloon puppets ? will padds work out how to use hair colour no 6 ????? and will we ever know why tescos put a delivery van on that island ??????
meanwhile........ha ha just as i thought, when they all thought i was just playing in the sand wif me buket and spade i was secretly working on my secret weapon, with the spade stuck up me jacksy as a rudder and the buket on me head with a hole for air i plan to walk off the fookin not a paradice island,,,,fook the spelling.... time to get outta here and no fooker is gonna rob me idea and scarper, all i need now is a couple of coconuts and a big tortoice for to get me started, failing that a big breasted woman would do, if only shaz wernt out on deliveries, ah well.
bomber got out about half a mile when he turned to take one last look at the shower of fookers standing on the beech, fists awaving and expletives by the score when............................
Padds, sits and reflects,,, It's Tuesday so is permitted to correct spellings!, Ponders then announces, ah fook,,, lets Party.....
fook it was all a trick to get me off the island so they could have a party, that git padds can fix his own tap cause i reckon he was the (ring) leader, i wondered what that tesco van was delivering but know i know it was the food and drink, again padds sorted that as he cant fooken cook, bonnie and clyde told me they were making grass skirts , that should have been a clue, too late me helmet is nearly out of air, and that lazy tortoice haS fooked off with shaz, al i can do now is ....
wait...meanwhile using the sea shell phone alanball has managed to find information on the nearest bar
a nice cool drink will help him think...how can he get bewbie all to himself...after all she has the last 3 condoms...n puppet production is dependent on em...how to distract clyde n padds...maybe using the shell he could conjur up a monster
where is the bar...is it a mirage
he dreaming...
...but no it was not a dream...and was that Sally O'Brien really serving behind the bar...& the way she might look at you with her one good eye...of course she only had an eye for Capt Thom and his 1 eyed pet
... snake ... alan would have to get Thom on his side...
and Thom fantasised about the snake goddess gyrating frantically in front of him. He needed help from........
needed help from allybaba they would take control they needed some belly dancers to distract the lads and when they have they would take thomasbigladand borrow thomasbiglads ship and pick up padds alanball newbie clyde and the bonns they have there own party on bored ho and we picked up titan as well he was fishing for...............................
alanball....using his seashell, alan had managed to get put a whole in time...he could trap Padds in a time delay conundrum...while he pilaged the nearest Dunne's store (better value beats em all)...he would return with ... thats should get bewbies away from clyde and guarantee some golden moments...with his magic time shifting hole alanball could gain control...
Ah my favourite:
But ponders,,, How do they get the Figs into the rolls? decides to put his medals away and go shower!!! plotting,,,, oh yes plotting
but clyde was mad the padds had been in his medal dox and nicked them so he sent in the bonns but she got bistracted and ended up in dublin and went shopping for a pressie for dubscplmg who birthday was on the weekend comming up and while there she saw alan ball shopping for a new..................................
Dangley thing for his phone!!!! he had realised of late the old one was so 80's!!!!!! As Alan leaves the shop to greet Bonns, he notices Bomber121 struggling with bags, he rushes over to Bomber and asks " Whats in the bags?" to which Bomber replied " Revenge! best served on a plate!" oh and cookery books for Padds!!! Bonns rushes over.... hmmm Bomber, Padds never told me about you,,,, hmmmmmmmm Bomber, your soo sweet I could nearly..............
nearly me arse.,I maybe sweet honey but i know what ur game is, ye just want to check me bags out to see if there is something in there u can give to dubcplmg for birthday, as ye have spent all ur money on shoes and something for clydeeee in Ann Summers in o connell street, well i aint fallin for yer charm thought on seconds thoughts i know a lovely little restaurant around the corner we may as well have something to eat seeing as u came all the way up to dublin, it will be nice and cozy, just the 2 of us and maybe something nice for desert mmmmm, ok list i have to go to the cash point i`ll meet ye there in 5 mins, bonns asks bomber the name of restaurant , it mc donalds, ye cheep git bomber she cries, could have been worse i could take you to padds house for something to eat,,,,,,,, bomber turns to leave when ........
Bomber spots the Van,,,, hears the sounds,,,, feck... is it.... is it?
omg its,,,,its,,,,,,,i dont fooken believe it,,,,,shaz oh shaz just when i though all life had stopped you appear in front of me , Hi she says,, did ye have yer tea, i did shaz. what ye have, bangers and mash,,, mmmmmmmmm jim , bangers and mash, with that he jumps into the van and in the distance he can hear bonns scream ,,,,bommer ye liccle b..........................
Bollix ya, the Bonns wants ya..... she stops, he has fled... calls Padds on her shell fone that she found amoungst Alans' Balls (grin) " Padd's have you seen Bomber?" ... Padds replies" What, has anyone (grin bomber)" Padds looks ahead, oh steps....
into the Black Hole ... to take control of....
Oh steps! I didn't think of them, as the bridge of my nose crashes against the top step. I must have been too busy looking at Newbie on cam to notice them. A good Samaritan helps me to my feet, and to my chagrin it's.............
ALAN BALL 2 QUICK 4 ME!!!!!!!!!!
Alan knows that Lancelot is not a knight in shining armour but really Jim Figgerty in discuise and he has been hiding in the ...in his suit of armour...did puddings impress Damsels like Newbie....was she a vegetarian ... was the world round ...so many questions...Lancelot couldn't stop the voices in his head...
lance was troubled we all knew that bomber told him that the sea shell can been away form home so long new he was starting to lose it but could,nt do anything bout it. newbee and padds where at the van buying up all the black pudding to have an orgy. alan and clyde felt that they had to do some thing before the whole island was full of mad swingers that would b a disaster. one of the unopened box,s that thomasbiglad left before he laft the island wes still hare so the lads decided to open it and low and behold in the box was the answer clyde and alan needed it was..........
The oxford dictionary and a scrabble game, delux edition. Now at last they would have something to take their minds off sex. Clyde looked at first seven letters in front of him.. V A G I N A L, how on earth was he going to make a word out of letters like that...he could see the word 'van' but he knew bewbie would lose it if he cluttered up the board with three letter words.
