whats she doing here...this is "Strictly Cum Dancing" not "Surprise, Surprise.. Don't think much of yours" .... Alan would have to think quickly.... perhaps look for help from the Barbies ... they could distract the other guys while he disapeared into the blackhole with where could he hide her .... and then he remembered no one would find them on tracy Island ... the island girls would protect them
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Creative Writing
AS CAPT THOMAS, DASTERLY PADDS, LADY BONNY , MIS NEWBIES, CANDYLOVE, LEMRAC AND LORD CLYDE DANCED AWAY THE NIGHT AT ALAN BALLS NIGHT CLUB DEEP IN THE CASTLE SEABREEZE, LITTLE DID THEY KNOW THAT THE FEARED CAPT KEANEO AND HIS LOYAL SIDEKICK CUTIE AND THERE CREW HAD LANDED ON THE ISLAND, LOOKING FOR REVENGE AND MAYHAM.
HAVING MADE FRIENDS WITH THE FEARED AMOZAN TRIBE WITH PROMISES OF SEX, DRINK AND UNTOLD WEALTH, THERE PLAN IS TO STORM THE CASTLE, CAPTURE LADY BONNS, LEMRAC, CANDYLOVE AND NEWBIES, BRING THEM BACK TO THERE ISLAND IN NEVER NEVER LAND AND USE AS HAS PROMISED TO LOOK AFTER EACH ONE PERSONALLY. MEANTIME CAPT THOMAS IS TO BE CAPTURED AND MADE WALK THE PLANK. THE DASTERLY PADDS AND ALAN CANNON BALLS WILL BE FORCED TO INTO SLAVERY.
AS THE NIGHT FELL OVER THE CASTLE, WITH THOSE INSIDE IN A DRUNKEN STATE DANCING AND WHORING THE NIGHT AWAY, CAPT KEANEO AND CUTIE PLOT5 THERE NEXT MOVE WHILE SITTING UNDER THE STARS AND LIGHT OF THE MOON.
AT SIX AM AS THE SUN COMES OVER THE HORIZAN, THEY STRIKE, THE WALLS OF THE CASTLE ARE SCALED, AS THEY GO OVER THE TOP THEY HEAD FOR THE FAMED ALAN BALLS DANCE CLUB WITHIN THE WALLS OF THE CASTLE. WHEN THEY GET THERE WHAT THEY FIND IS TOTAL MAYHEM,DRUNKEN BODIES ALL OVER THE PLACE, DRINK FOOD AND DEBOUCHERY. WITH ONE SWOOP OF HIS SWORD CAPT KEANEO BRINGS DOWN FIRE AND BRIMSTONE ON THOSE INSIDE, AS THE THUNDER ROARS, AND LIGHTENING STRIKES, CAPT KEANEO AND CUTIE SEEK OUT THEIR PREA, WILL CAPT KEANEO FIND THOMAS, WILL CUTIE GET HER WOMEN, LADY BONNS, CANDYLOVE, NEWBIES AND LORD (LUCAN) CLYDE GET AWAY TO HIS OTHER DWELLING ON THE BANKS OF THE ALAN SAVE HIS BALLS, WILL DASTERDLY PADDS EXCAPE TO HIS ISLAND IN THE SECHELLIES ??
SLAVERY! Padds is aghast at Keaneo's use of caps (grin) But on contemplation realises that is not such a bad thing! Ponders, where is Lemrac, is she with Newbies, CANDYLOVE, GK and the Bonns? or has that Pesky Cilla brought them too the pub?
Padds goes to the bold corner, time out too reflect,,,, "why has the Lovely Shaz gone he asks?" hoping she will see his post!!!!!
then it happens again... Padds new mobile beeps" de de de da ....." it was the lovely ?
As Dasterly Padds heads to the corner to await his faith, Capt Keaneo and his loyal Cutie has after ram-sacking the Castle, taken Lemrac, Lady Bonns, Newbies and Candylove captaive, The Amozon Tribe have joined Capt Keaneo And are bringing captives back to the Jolly Roger. Meanwhile CAPT Keaneo is in pursuit of Capt Thomas, his is searching the ballroom of romance where Alan Cannon Balls is hiding out, Lord Clyde has taken refuge in his armered tank while Thomas is on the run.
On the way back to the mother ship the Jolly Roger, Miz Newbies slips and falls into the raging Waterfall. Cutie throws her a lifeboy, but she dissapears in the currents. Cutie takes the others Lady Bonns, Lemrac and Candylove back to the ship and throws them in the hold, while she awaits the return of her Capt Keaneo69.
Meanwhile back at the Castle, Alan Cannon Balls has one last dance, the flighty Padds comes out from the corner and does the WALLS OF LIMERICK. Padds not known what faith awaits him in never never land trys to cover from the maurding Capt Keaneo who has been scouring the Castle remains for the murding Capt Thomas. will he find him ? what faith awaits the captures, ????
Alan was totally confused...he had lost his train of thought...too many thoughts and images were spinning through his mind...he needed a rest...69 winks should do the trick...sleep glorious sleep...
Ok quiet, places everyone...LIGHTS CAMERA ACTION ...
Thomas this is your big scene .... Have we got wood ... This is the money shot! .....
FF's where am I? ... Oh! A sign... there is a sign ...
Scene 69 - "Thomasbiglad, the Swingers and the Quest for the Goldenknicks"
... What am I doing in Pornwood? ...Where is Padds, Clyde, Bonns, what has happened to Newbie ? ... And why am I Wet? why can I taste salt? ... What is the white foam? ..... I need to get a message to MulderandTcell, they will know what to do, mysteries are their area .....Bonns, Bonns...it's me Alan....what is happening?, where is everyone? ....
Alan you are sailing on the Bi Ship Lovebird.... Capt Thomas and the crew have been bewitched by the siren Newbie ....she has sent them on a quest ... they seek the Goldenknicks .... No Knicks no Newbie .... Padds is hoisting his jolly roger in the crows nest and awaits the return of his pigeon, a spell has been cast on Lancelot & his lance sleeps, Keaneo69,Lemrac and Cutie are be-calmed in an oily mist in the yoni sea, Alan they also need your cannonballs to clear the mist, and Clyde is hand paddling in the supply ship tesco... Jeez I am sick & tired of eating pudding & King crisps...where is d Beef? ....
But the Newbie is playing with their minds ....Alan do not look in her eyes...do not gaze upon her camera...beware her wit .... Only the DORA knows how to find the Goldenknicks .... Without the DORA I fear we are doomed ... 69 years we have been sailing on the S41 sea ... If only we could reach Mods Island .... Home of the mystic Avalon Aurora ... She has the codes & can summon help from the Titans, the Bongo's and the Bi-atch...they can guide and protect you from the Mr Corkies .... for they seek to keep Newbie to themselves .... they will never share or let Newbie release the crew from her bewitching spell .... Seek help Alan.... Trawl the forums...leave no thread un-turned....seek the Golden one ...break the spell.....the power is in you Alan... Live long and prosper......go not to the dark-side....beware.....
Meanwhile back at Doras apartment, the Ladies of Swing were entertaining themselves ( again )Dora was whingeing about he distinct lack of men and the fact that the rest ahd taken to the high seas...
'OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!' squealed Dora, 'girls we supposed to be on the set' she roared above the bedlam, Knicks had found Doras secret stash of knicks and was passing them around.....
'Put the god-damn knicks down now knicks! or I will................
'OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!' squealed Dora, 'girls we supposed to be on the set' she roared above the bedlam, Knicks had found Doras secret stash of knicks and was passing them around.....
'Put the god-damn knicks down now knicks! or I will................
stuff and mount you on that fireplace. Hah I've been stuffed in better places than this and by better than you she roared. The other ladies scurried for cover, they had seen Goldenknicks in full flow before and knew better than to interfere. Dora paused ummmmmmm perhaps a game of strip scrabble to calm us down. Fine said Goldenknicks whip out your board and before you could say orgasmatron they were hard at it. Goldenknicks opened with cunnilingus Dora replied with coitus. Suddenly the Door was thrust open and silence fell around the room........
OMG.... Clyde flees.... those bloody "amazon wemon" are beautiful without their wings... he rushes over and slaps Padd's shouting " You and your fooking Pigeons!" Padds goes to the bold corner and yes here goes " De de De de De de De de DAh" his new Sony Ericsson rattles.... Everyone stands around in awe on hearing Padd's one way conversation " Wohoo,,when, what now?" Padds scuttles off to the Harbour, Mr and Mrs H have arrived in their new boat.... and have brought a guest.... but who?
O who could this mysterious person that mr and mrs H have brough along, hey its the new cabin boy or girls............they hear him or her or could it be a pair............but they dont see. As Mrs h attempts to bring the yatch into berth without hitting someone else along the way everyone hears mr h's shout from below deck "not that flippen way mrs h" lol but what was mr h up to down below? Padds jumps on board and starts the staggery walk on deck to get a gueeeeee down below and what or who do you think he found?
Padd's took a few hours out, to meet Mr Alan-Ball have coffee and say hello finally, leaving Mr and Mrs H to join The so called Island.
The ships are all docked now Padds's assumed, but on returning from the Harbour, noticed a severe lack of presence..... Had the H's decided to start a party? Padd's wondered..... where was Lancelot, RGB and Bewbies? had the rest of the gang ran off to the next Island?
Next he saw the flashing of lights, and heard the Rave music that he loved so dearly...... the flashing lights..... it had to be The Wexford Crew, still in Party mode? but where was Keaneo?
....just as I walk in to the bathroom there is Padds sat on the loo doing his business, Padds lock the jaysus door will ya!!! oh and I notice your not wearing your white boxers today having an airy day are we :moon:
I only came in to get Alan some help for his problem from the medicine cabinet, you know the problem he has with those awful probing dreams of cigarettes and blue pills 
......Alan dear it's only a headache your having, I have some pain killers would you like to take them orally or as a suppository 
......Alan dear it's only a headache your having, I have some pain killers would you like to take them orally or as a suppository Nurse Amber you have come at last...can you make the voices stop...can you!!..but what that I see in me Ballroom... Alan surveyed the devastation left in his Ballroom by the Tantric Rythms dancers..
..he spied under a cushion a shiny object…could it be…could it really be …But yes it was …it was Padds all new, super shiny Sony Ericsonn fone …. … had something dastardly happened to Padds…Alan could sense that Newbie was within his grasp… But first he needed to check with Keaneo69, the Cute Cutie & Lickable Lemrac … had they escaped the mist, captured Padds and sold him into slavery….
..he spied under a cushion a shiny object…could it be…could it really be …But yes it was …it was Padds all new, super shiny Sony Ericsonn fone …. … had something dastardly happened to Padds…Alan could sense that Newbie was within his grasp… But first he needed to check with Keaneo69, the Cute Cutie & Lickable Lemrac … had they escaped the mist, captured Padds and sold him into slavery….
In the meantime newbie returned from her trip to Partyneverendland, where she stayed in the delightful Hotel California. It was the Wexford branch of the chain, slightly more relaxed rules applied, leaving was allowed, it was just made very difficult. She scanned the recent tabloid papers to see what had been happening in her absence, only to notice an attempt had been made to kill her off through drowning. Little did the villan know, she had taken waterfall diving classes every wednesday after school for 4 years, and had several medals in the sport. As she climbed out of the water, refereshed from the fun dive, she contemplated some form of revenge, but no, that was not her style, besides, she knew he captain fishfinger was already suffering from an extremely painful case of knickers-in-a-twist-itis. Perhaps his sidekick Cutie could fins an open pharmacy to pick up some chill pills and a knicker-untwister. Besides, Newbie had bigger problems to deal with, there was a porn set, and she wasn't on it. As an understudy to the beautiful and talented Bonny Rabbit (a close relative of Jessica Rabbit, similar looks cept bonns isn't a cartoon), she would need to be on that set to learn as much as she could from the gifted Bonns. She hailed a cab to take her to the set...
....of The bar of the Swingers Return.
Newbie-Clyde pint is it/
Clyde-aye, thanks NEWBIE
Newbie- u look worried Clyde
Clyde- I am Padds fone is Gone... I can't contact him
Newbie-Padds GONE!!! OMG...we will av to organise a search
Clyde- while I think can I have one of Bonns' hotpots
Bonn's- whats this I hear Clyde, you lost Padds fone...
Thomasbiglad (from the hold of the Black Pearl)- Newbie, I need you hand to tap a barrel, can you come down...
Meanwhile over in Goldenknicks knicker factory
Dora- its just not right
GK- wats up Dora
Dora- the gusset i just can't get it to fit right
GK- oh Dora just use more tape
Dora- tape my ass its more than tape I need ....
in S41...
MuldernTcell had been asked to investigate the strange goings on in the thread ... there was no rhyme nor reason to it .. it made no sense ... it was a mystery ... and now there was a disapearance...
Tcell: "Padds & Time can't just disappear, it's a universal invariant!"
Mulder: "Not in this zip code..."
Newbie-Clyde pint is it/
Clyde-aye, thanks NEWBIE
Newbie- u look worried Clyde
Clyde- I am Padds fone is Gone... I can't contact him
Newbie-Padds GONE!!! OMG...we will av to organise a search
Clyde- while I think can I have one of Bonns' hotpots
Bonn's- whats this I hear Clyde, you lost Padds fone...
Thomasbiglad (from the hold of the Black Pearl)- Newbie, I need you hand to tap a barrel, can you come down...
Meanwhile over in Goldenknicks knicker factory
Dora- its just not right
GK- wats up Dora
Dora- the gusset i just can't get it to fit right
GK- oh Dora just use more tape
Dora- tape my ass its more than tape I need ....
in S41...
MuldernTcell had been asked to investigate the strange goings on in the thread ... there was no rhyme nor reason to it .. it made no sense ... it was a mystery ... and now there was a disapearance...
Tcell: "Padds & Time can't just disappear, it's a universal invariant!"
Mulder: "Not in this zip code..."
5 hours later, Dora and Golden were exhausted, they had produced enough g-strings for all of swing 4 women and men....
Doar was still unsur eabout her's the tape was still causing a weird sensation in her gusset, so Golden threw her a ;arge bin-bag 'here wrap that round yor gusset and quit whinging we are due on set in 5 Nwebie is in chardge best not keep her waitng she is fierce'..so off they tripped, mincing on their 5 inch heels....
Master of Sex
while all the ladys and boys on swing4ireland where busy going through goldinknicks g strings, lord clyde was at it again. he had indeed got padds new sony fone but for a reason he wanted to call twinkle toes alan to rush through the time tunnell a battalion of tanks and boat hunters to hunt down and sink the jolly rodger once and for all so never again will the ladys of s4i have to worrie bout been held as slaves. alan quickly pushed all the right buttons and low and behold not only did he transport 1 batttalion but 2 with all this fire power lord clyde could chase down the pirate ship and send it to the bottom but will lord clyde give captain keano and the lovely cutie that was under his spell a chance to redeem them selves and become....
Master of Sex
while all the ladys and boys on swing4ireland where busy going through goldinknicks g strings, lord clyde was at it again. he had indeed got padds new sony fone but for a reason he wanted to call twinkle toes alan to rush through the time tunnell a battalion of tanks and boat hunters to hunt down and sink the jolly rodger once and for all so never again will the ladys of s4i have to worrie bout been held as slaves. alan quickly pushed all the right buttons and low and behold not only did he transport 1 batttalion but 2 with all this fire power lord clyde could chase down the pirate ship and send it to the bottom but will lord clyde give captain keano and the lovely cutie that was under his spell a chance to redeem them selves and become....
bring on the big guns the little 1,s are no good hehehehhe
bring on the big guns the little 1,s are no good hehehehhe
Master of Sex
clyde puts back padds new sony fone where he will find it. so he can say padds ya git look its under ur nose here borrow me glasses and ya will see em :crazy:
'Oooh, Lord Clyde, my hero', gushed Lady Bonns, coming to rescue his lovvely lady from the clutches of the wicked interloper. While she had to admit there was a certain someting she liked about the chains that bound her, this was no time for experimenting with bondage, she needed to be back in the arms of her brave Lord Clyde. Meanwhile...
As Capt Keaneo and his loyal mate Cutie sail away to there Island in the Sun, they leave behind totle confusion and strife. In the Hold they have Lady Bonns, Lemrac, Newbies and CandyLove, Meantime that dasterly Padds has being given a chance to redeem himself, he is before Capt Keaneo and his sidekick Cutie in the Capts quarters. Cutie is about to put him through the intergation ringer. He is being given one last chance to cum clean otherwise its the to the rack with him.
Cutie trys all her tricks with Padds, they want to know where did Capt Thomas and Lord Clyde excape too??
