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head46
1 week ago
Straight Male, 64
0 km · Cork
Forum
if it was'nt for bad luck I'd have no luck at all:bounce:Oh Lord here we go.......I’m not sure if this is the right thread for this tale of woe....however...
It was summer i was (about) 23,I had a motorbike (part of a lifelong obsession), at that time in Cork girls did’nt want to know about bikes, it was cars or nothing, I would have more chance of making it with a girl if i told her I had leprosy (never underestmate the power of the sympathy shag ïŠ)
Howerever one night I was at a party ,In my leathers , with my helmet (both of them ïŠ)
Doing my best to look like James Dean/Rory Gallagher , moody/dangerous , but more than likely just looking scruffey and gormless
When this girl came up to me and started chatting,a girl talking to me ??? did you ever see the flim wain’s world? The bit when Garth dreams of asking out the girl ? yea, I should sue that was me ,
About 20 miles outside Cork ar some lovely beaches, I sugested a ride on my bike ,a walk on the beach,â€we could watch the sun come up†I said (I was a bit drunk .... I know I’m a bad person )
She said ....ok..... (fec she must have been pissed).
3am.I parked my bike out side of the beach hotel,all the way down she had held on to me as I drove that mighty beast of hot throbbing metal.....etc I was probably lucky I didnt kill the pair of us ,
Anyway we got to the beach...
I kind of knew this area and knew there was a path and some steps down to the beach near the hotel talking my lover by the hand (what a man) I strode across the road “the beach is over here†said I , and so it was , however, i had missed the path by about 200 yards,it was ok tho. I found the beach,it was at the bottom of the 25 foot cliff I walked over,the girl had spotted something was not right at the last second and had called out†hang on a secâ€and let go of my hand as I tumbled(striding manfully)arse over tit, I can still rember thinking “what the f***â€, then with a mighty thud, I ended up on the are you ok???†her voice called down to me,I heard the sounds of climing, fair do’s to her she climed down to see if I was still alive (Iwas ,tho rather stunned)
Luckly I had landed on my head so nothing important was damaged ,(ïŠ)
Dasaster tho I had broken my glasses, I’m as blind as a bat without them,â€my god “said herself “your bleeding†so I was ,from a gash in my head, blood was flowing down my face at quite a rate.
We walked along the beach and found the steps I was so sure where there(till some fecker moved them) and got back to the hotel witch was closed no amount of knocking on the door aroused anyone(and the mobile phone was not invented yet) I was 20 miles from a hospital, with no glasses ,
With a girl who (while brave,she climed down the cliff)had never driven a bike ,and I was bleeding heavly.
I heard an engine,
My girl ran over to see if she could get some help ,the car held one English tourest ,and what you could only in polite compney call two ladies of the night,thankfully they said they would drop us to hospital,I have never had a more surreal journey ( maby it was the concussion) the two ladies keept telling me I was fine, while telling my girl in a very loud whisper, “F*** he’s pumping blood!!!while the driver was telling me about the difference between a porche and his buddys lamborgine as I
nodded and smiled and bled all over his leather seats .
the only time I was ever in a porche ïŠ
I got 8 stiches in my head ,she said she would call to see if I was all right
She never did .
The Seven Dwarfs go to The Vatican,and because they are the seven dwarfs they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.
Grumpy leads the pack.
“Grumpy, my sonâ€says the Pope “what can I do for you?â€
Grumpy asks “excuse me your excellency,but are their any dwarf nuns in Rome?â€
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question,thinks for a moment and answers “No grumpy,there are no dwarf nuns in Romeâ€
In the background, a few of the dwarf’s start giggling,
Grumpy turns around and glares,silencing them.
Grumpy turns back,â€Your Worship, are their any dwarf nuns in Europe?â€
The Pope ,puzzlednow , again thinks for a moment and says,
“No grumpy there are no dwarf nuns in
This time all of the other dwarf’s burst into laughter,
Once again Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare,
Grumpy turns backâ€Mr Pope...are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?â€
The Pope, really confused by the questions says “I’m sorry my son,there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the
The other dwarfs collapse into a heap,rolling and laughing,pounding the floor,tear’s rolling down their cheeks,as they begin chanting................
“GRUMPY SHAGGED A PENGUINâ€
“Grumpy Shagged a Penguinâ€
Dear Addies and Dora,
I have never written to you befor but I realy need your advice.
I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating,the usual signs;phone rings,if I answer the caller hangs up,going out with "the girls" a lot and when I ask their names it's "you don't know them".I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I ususally fall last night I decided to finally check on her, around midnight I hid in the garage behind my golf clubs so to get a good view of the whole street when she came home from her night out with the girls. When she got out of the car she was buttoning her blouse which was open and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them was at that moment crouched behind my golf clubs I noticed it...
A hairline crack where the grip meets the graphite shaft on my 3 this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro-shop?
uch!
Avalon:ah!
Addiesfun:yea!
Bonkingbabe:socks please!
:wave2:Don't get me going about the x fec...tor (prat idol...etc)how to make a good song mediocre, make some Mira Caire wannabe murder it AAAAAAAAAAAAGH like it says in the second line " you never cared for music did you"the people who bring you this rubbish.....well aaaaaaaaaaagh basterds..... and thats me trying to be nice...... rant rant...death is to good.......etc...pickaxe handles......rant...
hwoar: I thought only zeppelins came in that size :giggle:Slut,god I hate that word,that along with words like, nympho,slag, far as I'm concerned,were all invented, usualy by Religious, God fearing misogynists men, to deny the fact that woman had a sex drive, I do realise that Addies has a point, I have seen the fools in chat who think, for some strange reasion,that "hi baby hot cock here looking to fuck you" line is the ultimate in ! all I can say to that is, if they keep it up,get the mods to kick for viewing a woman as a vessal to dump a load in, Addies, if I ever thought I was that shallow, I'd have to give myself a good kicking, for me the most erotic organ is the brain and the girls I have spoken to in the chat rooms and at the meet+greets,are some of the funniest ,smartst, sexest, people it has been my honour to know.
