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bbwandhubby
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Female, 53
0 km · Cavan
Forum
Master of Sex
A real story by a Man who was standing in a queue
in Tesco's.........I have 2 dogs & I was buying a
large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was standing in
the queue at the till.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no.
I was starting The Winalot Diet again, although I
probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the
hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an intensive care ward with
tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in
both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet
and the way that it works is to load your trouser
pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or
two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete
so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in
the queue was by now enthralled with my story,
particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the
hospital in that condition because I had been
poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been
sitting in the road licking my balls and a car hit
me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack
he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the
door.
Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??
Master of Sex
Speeding - Good, Better and Best
GOOD: Wexford: Garda Traffic Corps had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but weren't getting many. Then they discovered the problem - a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read SPEED TRAP AHEAD'. The Garda also found the boy had an accomplice who was down the road with a sign reading 'TIPS' and a bucket full of money (And we used to just sell strawberries!)
BETTER: A motorist was mailed a photo of his car speeding through an
automated speed check on the N4. A €80 speeding ticket was included.
Being cute, he sent the Gardai a photo of €80. The Gardai responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.
BEST: A Young woman was pulled over for speeding. A Traffic Corps Garda walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, 'I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Garda Traffic Department Ball.' He replied, 'The Garda Traffic Department don't have balls.....' There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left.
And an old classic to boot........
A Kerry senior citizen, 76, drove his brand new BMW convertible out of the dealership.
Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down the Killarney road, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Garda car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120.
Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the Garda's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the Garda walked up to the BMW, looked at his watch and said,
"Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a Garda. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir" replied the Garda
Master of Sex
went to see harry potter other night with kids...dont bother it was brutal:upset:
:lol:Taurus... Master of Sex
Lovebird,,,can understand you are feeling pissed off but we too have come across it too...having been on cam on night we got a whisper from some asshole who said he would never have checked our profile cause of our name but haven seen us could he meet us,,,,regardless to say we didnt!!!Unfortunatley hun there are still small minded people around who have ideas and perceptions which fathom us all but on the other hand I think there are still more good, GROWN UP, mature,descent folks who outway the ignorant ones... and we have been lucky enough to have meet a few of them!!!!!Keep happy hun you know you who and what you and so do all the folks who have replyed and supported you here.....Mrs BBW!!!
:kiss::kiss::kiss:
:kiss::kiss::kiss: Master of Sex
Just laughing to myself filling in the this or that game...question posed was silk scarves or handcuffs..and it reminded me of a few years ago when the now 16 year old was younger and she came down stairs and said to me"mammy i didnt know daddy used to be a policeman" and i said he didnt!!!! well she says "why is there handcuffs in your locker"...quick thinking on my feet said they belonged to my younger brother who left them there years ago!!!! kept her happy anyway!!! But it just got me to thinking have you been caught on the hop by kids family etc????Bet ya have...And how did you explain it without being mortified.... :-o
Should be fun reading
:rotflmao:
Should be fun reading:rotflmao: 